Monday, June 16, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Upcoming Royal Report: Royal News - Fact or Fiction?
Tune in to the next Royal Report on Sunday June 15th, 2008 9:00PM EST.
The topic will be: Royal News - Fact or Fiction?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
The topic will be: Royal News - Fact or Fiction?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Royal Profile: Captain Alexander Ramsay of Mar
Captain Alexander Ramsay of Mar died on the eve of his 81st birthday on December 20, 2000. At the time of his death "Sandy" was one of five surviving great-grandchildren of Queen Victoria.
Alexander Arthur Alfonso David Maule Ramsay was born in his mother's bathroom at Clarence House, then home to his maternal grandfather the Duke of Connaught, on December 21 1919. He was the son of Princess Patricia of Connaught and Admirable the Honorable Captain Sir Alexander Ramsay, the third son of the 13th Earl of Dalhousie. He was christened in the Chapel Royal, St James's, in the presence of George V and Queens Mary and Alexandra. His godparents included Princess Christian, the Prince of Wales (later Edward VIII) and King Alfonso of Spain.
A playmate of the present Queen when young, Sandy attended Eton College and acted as page of honor, along with his cousin the Earl of Harewood at the Coronation of King George VI. Leaving Eton the same year he received a commission in the Grenadier Guards and he saw active service in North Africa during WWII. He lost his right leg below the knee during a tank battle in Tunisia in 1943. In 1944 he became an Aide-de-Camp of his cousin, Henry Duke of Gloucester who was then Governor General of Australia. During his three years there he had another close call when his car became trapped between two trams in Sydney and was sliced in half.
In 1944 he learnt that he would inherit Mar Lodge and its estates from his aunt, Princess Arthur of Connaught, Duchess of Fife whose only son and heir apparent to the dukedom had died in 1943. Upon leaving the Army in 1947 he studied agriculture at Trinity College, Cambridge and graduated in 1952. He worked for three years on the Linlithgow estates at South Queensferry. In 1959 he inherited the Mar estate and was allowed to add the designation 'of Mar' to his name. Part of the estate was sold to pay inheritance tax and became Mar Lodge Estate; part of which was destroyed by fire in 1991 while being renovated.
On October 6th, 1956 he married Flora Fraser, the only daughter and heiress of the 20th Lord Saltoun, at St. Peter's Episcopal Church, Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire. They had met at the Perth Hunt Ball. They had three daughters, Katherine (b 1957), Alice (b 1961) and Elizabeth (b 1963). Upon her father's death in 1979 Flora succeeded as the 21st Lady Saltoun and Chief of the Name of Fraser in her own right. The couple resided at his wife's family seat, Cairnbulg Castle, Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire.
Captain Ramsay was a devotee of family and Scottish history, and took a keen interest in heraldry. He also enjoyed shooting, sailing and travelling. In 1959 he became vice-patron of the Braemar Royal Highland Society. In 1971 Ramsay became the deputy lord lieutenant for Aberdeenshire. He was also a Fellow of the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors and for 30 years chairman of the executive committee of the Scottish Life Boat Council. He was survived by his wife and three daughters.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Alexander Arthur Alfonso David Maule Ramsay was born in his mother's bathroom at Clarence House, then home to his maternal grandfather the Duke of Connaught, on December 21 1919. He was the son of Princess Patricia of Connaught and Admirable the Honorable Captain Sir Alexander Ramsay, the third son of the 13th Earl of Dalhousie. He was christened in the Chapel Royal, St James's, in the presence of George V and Queens Mary and Alexandra. His godparents included Princess Christian, the Prince of Wales (later Edward VIII) and King Alfonso of Spain.
A playmate of the present Queen when young, Sandy attended Eton College and acted as page of honor, along with his cousin the Earl of Harewood at the Coronation of King George VI. Leaving Eton the same year he received a commission in the Grenadier Guards and he saw active service in North Africa during WWII. He lost his right leg below the knee during a tank battle in Tunisia in 1943. In 1944 he became an Aide-de-Camp of his cousin, Henry Duke of Gloucester who was then Governor General of Australia. During his three years there he had another close call when his car became trapped between two trams in Sydney and was sliced in half.
In 1944 he learnt that he would inherit Mar Lodge and its estates from his aunt, Princess Arthur of Connaught, Duchess of Fife whose only son and heir apparent to the dukedom had died in 1943. Upon leaving the Army in 1947 he studied agriculture at Trinity College, Cambridge and graduated in 1952. He worked for three years on the Linlithgow estates at South Queensferry. In 1959 he inherited the Mar estate and was allowed to add the designation 'of Mar' to his name. Part of the estate was sold to pay inheritance tax and became Mar Lodge Estate; part of which was destroyed by fire in 1991 while being renovated.
On October 6th, 1956 he married Flora Fraser, the only daughter and heiress of the 20th Lord Saltoun, at St. Peter's Episcopal Church, Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire. They had met at the Perth Hunt Ball. They had three daughters, Katherine (b 1957), Alice (b 1961) and Elizabeth (b 1963). Upon her father's death in 1979 Flora succeeded as the 21st Lady Saltoun and Chief of the Name of Fraser in her own right. The couple resided at his wife's family seat, Cairnbulg Castle, Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire.
Captain Ramsay was a devotee of family and Scottish history, and took a keen interest in heraldry. He also enjoyed shooting, sailing and travelling. In 1959 he became vice-patron of the Braemar Royal Highland Society. In 1971 Ramsay became the deputy lord lieutenant for Aberdeenshire. He was also a Fellow of the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors and for 30 years chairman of the executive committee of the Scottish Life Boat Council. He was survived by his wife and three daughters.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Monday, June 09, 2008
I Like Prince Charles
How many times have you heard someone say that?
Over the years my attitude towards him has mellowed somewhat. Despite the fact that I don't have a clue what he really does. I don't listen to his speeches. I only occasionally visit his website; if only to find out what's officially going on with Prince William and Prince Harry. I've also searched for Kate Middleton, to no avail. I did a Royal Report episode about him, using his site to research him so I could sound somewhat knowledgeable. Yes, it looks like he does a lot. He seems to care. And once he becomes king; if ever, I will feel sorry for him. He will lose the freedom that he has at present. The freedom to bravely wade into the foray and make a difference. Once he is monarch, he can only quietly make recommendations via carefully written memorandums to avoid public controversy. It's sad if you think about it.
What do I like about him? He exudes kindness. True, he will always have that remote royal quality, but in comparison to his mother, The Queen, he appears warm. Something, which in his particular position, means something. It's necessary. In fact, it has an impact that pales in comparison to other members of the royal family. Sure Prince Edward and Sophie can be pleasant. Princess Anne is dedicated to her causes. Prince Andrew does, whatever he does with a smile and a wave. The Dukes of Kent and Gloucester do what they do, working below the radar. Were it not for Majesty magazine, I wouldn't know they even exist.
After reading the following article on the World of Royalty website, to my surprise, I found myself logging in to Blogger and writing this article in intermittent spurts for the next two months. Leaping to his defense, begrudgingly admitting that he may have been ahead of his time, is not the thing to do. People may think that you're catering to him by doing so. Since my opinion means absolutely nothing, I don't have to worry about that.
Certainly I've taken my fair shots at him on this blog - but only in humour. He's the funniest member of the royal family. Which makes him all the more endearing to me. I don't know what I would do without him. Marrying Camilla was the smartest move he could have made - he looks like he's happy. After all these years, after all he's been though, he deserves it. Yet, if there's any doubt, he's paid a price for his happiness. He's made mistakes but life goes on.
Maybe his birthright has entrapped him. Maybe he never wanted it at all. We'll never truly know. You can wonder all you like. Pity him all you want. While he's Prince of Wales he's in a position to make a difference. Maybe an eternity of waiting isn't such a bad thing after all.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Over the years my attitude towards him has mellowed somewhat. Despite the fact that I don't have a clue what he really does. I don't listen to his speeches. I only occasionally visit his website; if only to find out what's officially going on with Prince William and Prince Harry. I've also searched for Kate Middleton, to no avail. I did a Royal Report episode about him, using his site to research him so I could sound somewhat knowledgeable. Yes, it looks like he does a lot. He seems to care. And once he becomes king; if ever, I will feel sorry for him. He will lose the freedom that he has at present. The freedom to bravely wade into the foray and make a difference. Once he is monarch, he can only quietly make recommendations via carefully written memorandums to avoid public controversy. It's sad if you think about it.
What do I like about him? He exudes kindness. True, he will always have that remote royal quality, but in comparison to his mother, The Queen, he appears warm. Something, which in his particular position, means something. It's necessary. In fact, it has an impact that pales in comparison to other members of the royal family. Sure Prince Edward and Sophie can be pleasant. Princess Anne is dedicated to her causes. Prince Andrew does, whatever he does with a smile and a wave. The Dukes of Kent and Gloucester do what they do, working below the radar. Were it not for Majesty magazine, I wouldn't know they even exist.
After reading the following article on the World of Royalty website, to my surprise, I found myself logging in to Blogger and writing this article in intermittent spurts for the next two months. Leaping to his defense, begrudgingly admitting that he may have been ahead of his time, is not the thing to do. People may think that you're catering to him by doing so. Since my opinion means absolutely nothing, I don't have to worry about that.
Certainly I've taken my fair shots at him on this blog - but only in humour. He's the funniest member of the royal family. Which makes him all the more endearing to me. I don't know what I would do without him. Marrying Camilla was the smartest move he could have made - he looks like he's happy. After all these years, after all he's been though, he deserves it. Yet, if there's any doubt, he's paid a price for his happiness. He's made mistakes but life goes on.
Maybe his birthright has entrapped him. Maybe he never wanted it at all. We'll never truly know. You can wonder all you like. Pity him all you want. While he's Prince of Wales he's in a position to make a difference. Maybe an eternity of waiting isn't such a bad thing after all.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
Someday your prince may come but more than likely you'll have to find him
Keeping a prince can be a difficult job. Finding one in this day and age can be downright impossible. What with the dwindling prospects making drunken fools of themselves on a regular basis. It's tough. Kate Middleton certainly has her work cut out for her, guiding Prince William towards the altar. Here are some steps to help you out should you be interested in the same position.
1) Find a prince. Check out family trees. Go to places he hangs out - polo fields, expensive clubs, or the oldest university in Scotland. While doing so, invest in a copy of the Almanach de Gotha, it could take years to get your copy but once you do you'll see whether you're on the right track.
2) Once you've located your prince. Lure him into your lair by modelling skimpy clothes at a fashion show. Move in before he gets a glazed over look. Worked for Kate.
3) If necessary, quit your job. Forget everything your guidance counsellor told you about becoming royalty. It is possible.
4) Always look your best. Act the part. Anything less and you'll be considered a slacker. Remember that you'll be expected to set trends and look nice without spending any money whatsoever. Better get used to it now.
5) Get the media and your future subjects behind you. This is where tip#4 comes in. Your Prince will lose face in the eyes of his future subjects if he doesn't choose you.
6) Change your name. No one wants a future queen named Trixie, Peaches, or Amy Winehouse. Choose something suitably regal sounding, with an eye towards the name fitting on souvenirs. Catherine is a good choice.
7) While he may be worth millions, and could buy you your hearts desire, accept any love tokens, regardless of how cheap or tacky. He'll think that you appreciate the simple things in life. Especially those made with glue and sawdust.
8) Socialize without him. If you can make it look like you're having a good time in the pages of Hello magazine even better.
9) If you're dating a romantic and dashing prince, make sure your property has enough room to land a helicopter.
10) Be patient. This is the toughest part of all. Playing the waiting game. Some Princes aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. It may take a while for them to make up their minds.
© Marilyn Braun 2007
1) Find a prince. Check out family trees. Go to places he hangs out - polo fields, expensive clubs, or the oldest university in Scotland. While doing so, invest in a copy of the Almanach de Gotha, it could take years to get your copy but once you do you'll see whether you're on the right track.
2) Once you've located your prince. Lure him into your lair by modelling skimpy clothes at a fashion show. Move in before he gets a glazed over look. Worked for Kate.
3) If necessary, quit your job. Forget everything your guidance counsellor told you about becoming royalty. It is possible.
4) Always look your best. Act the part. Anything less and you'll be considered a slacker. Remember that you'll be expected to set trends and look nice without spending any money whatsoever. Better get used to it now.
5) Get the media and your future subjects behind you. This is where tip#4 comes in. Your Prince will lose face in the eyes of his future subjects if he doesn't choose you.
6) Change your name. No one wants a future queen named Trixie, Peaches, or Amy Winehouse. Choose something suitably regal sounding, with an eye towards the name fitting on souvenirs. Catherine is a good choice.
7) While he may be worth millions, and could buy you your hearts desire, accept any love tokens, regardless of how cheap or tacky. He'll think that you appreciate the simple things in life. Especially those made with glue and sawdust.
8) Socialize without him. If you can make it look like you're having a good time in the pages of Hello magazine even better.
9) If you're dating a romantic and dashing prince, make sure your property has enough room to land a helicopter.
10) Be patient. This is the toughest part of all. Playing the waiting game. Some Princes aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. It may take a while for them to make up their minds.
© Marilyn Braun 2007
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
How Royal is Royal?
I've always dreamt of being a Princess. Not a queen, but a Princess. Princess Marilyn has a rather nice ring to it, don't you think? Rumor has it that Marilyn Monroe was considered to be a candidate to marry Prince Rainier of Monaco. While not making me royal, I would have known there was a Princess Marilyn in the history books. Maybe it could have become my nickname. Alas it was not to be.
Whether truly royal, distantly related, or just delusional, it's not difficult to claim that you're royalty. It's whether people believe you. There are no specific qualifications. You don't have to have a certificate. Just stick the word prince/princess in front of your name, put an obscure sounding country that no one has ever heard of (or is unlikely to look up), set up a really ugly website, slap a coat of arms on it and there you go. If you have a personal motto and can cut and paste a photo of a castle, even better! But who knows, maybe some of these people genuinely are royalty - no offense. It's good to be proud of your heritage, whatever that may be. You can even spend your time putting together family trees that show you're related, but no one outside of your family is likely to care about. Everyone needs a hobby.
When I look at the people on the Wikipedia list for the line of succession to the British throne , there are almost 1400 names. Now yes, Wikipedia is not the be all, end all, but this list is a pretty good start. However I think there comes a point where, if you're not within the first 10 names, a monarch of a ruling house, their children, and some of their grandchildren, you really shouldn't consider yourself to be royal. Just my personal opinion. The Dutch and the Norwegian royal families have a rather good system - they divide it by Royal House and Royal family. Which makes it fairly clear. With each new monarch, part of the family falls off the list, giving academic preference to the direct descendants. Some people may be happy to have this happen - gives some normalcy. Those who stand on ceremony may fight this tooth and nail, somehow ending up in the pages of Majesty or Hello Magazine, when there's a wedding or the christening of a baby.
People who call themselves Prince/Princess or consider themselves royal, dilute the mystique and the meaning of royalty. Royalty has to earn their keep nowadays. Attending party after party at the world's glamorous locations doesn't sound like charity work to me. Some members of the royal family consider it a burden; Prince Harry sometimes wishes he wasn't a prince. Would this pseudo royalty trade places if they knew what was involved?
Depends on how many parties and vacations they'd have to sacrifice.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Whether truly royal, distantly related, or just delusional, it's not difficult to claim that you're royalty. It's whether people believe you. There are no specific qualifications. You don't have to have a certificate. Just stick the word prince/princess in front of your name, put an obscure sounding country that no one has ever heard of (or is unlikely to look up), set up a really ugly website, slap a coat of arms on it and there you go. If you have a personal motto and can cut and paste a photo of a castle, even better! But who knows, maybe some of these people genuinely are royalty - no offense. It's good to be proud of your heritage, whatever that may be. You can even spend your time putting together family trees that show you're related, but no one outside of your family is likely to care about. Everyone needs a hobby.
When I look at the people on the Wikipedia list for the line of succession to the British throne , there are almost 1400 names. Now yes, Wikipedia is not the be all, end all, but this list is a pretty good start. However I think there comes a point where, if you're not within the first 10 names, a monarch of a ruling house, their children, and some of their grandchildren, you really shouldn't consider yourself to be royal. Just my personal opinion. The Dutch and the Norwegian royal families have a rather good system - they divide it by Royal House and Royal family. Which makes it fairly clear. With each new monarch, part of the family falls off the list, giving academic preference to the direct descendants. Some people may be happy to have this happen - gives some normalcy. Those who stand on ceremony may fight this tooth and nail, somehow ending up in the pages of Majesty or Hello Magazine, when there's a wedding or the christening of a baby.
People who call themselves Prince/Princess or consider themselves royal, dilute the mystique and the meaning of royalty. Royalty has to earn their keep nowadays. Attending party after party at the world's glamorous locations doesn't sound like charity work to me. Some members of the royal family consider it a burden; Prince Harry sometimes wishes he wasn't a prince. Would this pseudo royalty trade places if they knew what was involved?
Depends on how many parties and vacations they'd have to sacrifice.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
Survivor Balmoral - Day 34
Trapped in their home for 39 days with no servants to wait on them, no private secretaries as go between, the royals must communicate directly with each other and make their own beds. Through a series of challenges, each contestant will prove that they are the real Royal Survivor.
On the last episode of Survivor Balmoral, Paul Burrell won the immunity idol for winning the bed making challenge. Prince Philip had a setback after he failed the child rearing challenge. And Prince Edward narrowly escaped being permanently trapped in the loo. On this episode, the very survival of tribe Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is at risk when Princess Anne faces the challenge of cutting a slice of bread.
The Princess carefully approaches the counter. Four knives lay before her - Table, Paring, Bread, and Swiss Army. Along with them a wooden spoon. She picks up one of the implements up eyes the loaf with trepidation.
Prince Edward: I'm hungry
Prince Andrew: Yes, me too
Princess Anne: (turns towards them with the wooden spoon in hand) Stop it or I'll call Mummy.
Both men are silent. One of their stomachs growl audibly. Paul Burrell sits on a chair in the kitchen, chuckling to himself.
Paul: Need some help?
Princess Anne: Go away
Paul: Well, just thought I'd let you know that you can't cut a loaf of bread with a spoon.
Prince Edward: I can't handle this any longer.
Prince Edward grabs the bread off the counter and starts to savagely tear at it with his teeth. Prince Andrew wrestles the bread from him.
Meanwhile, in another part of the castle. Prince Charles sits beside a mop and bucket. He is weeping.
Prince Charles: (to the camera) I didn't realize it would be this hard. I don't even know which end of the mop to use. (He looks at the mop closer). You know, if it weren't for this monstrous carbuncle of fabric, this might be good for walking in the hills.
Prince William calls from another room.
Prince William: Papa!
Prince Charles: What is it Wills?
William, in a heightened state of anxiety, points to a crumpled piece of paper on the floor. Both princes look at the floor with trepidation. Charles takes the stick and pokes at the paper. Inching it closer to the wastebasket.
William: No Papa, this is my challenge.
William bravely bends down on the floor and starts to blow the paper. It slowly moves. Soon he is out of breath. He sits up, tears of frustration roll down his cheeks. Charles hugs William.
Prince Charles: We'll get through this together.
Later on at tribal council, the members of the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha tribe arrive tired and exhausted. Prince Edwards stomach rumbles. Paul Burrell sits and smiles smugly.The tribe members glower at him.
The Queen: Do you why you're all here?
Paul Burrell: Yes, it's so disappointing your Majesty. But they've tried so hard, with my help of course. May I offer you a glass of Royal Butler wine?
Prince Philip: (looks at Paul) What is that I hear in the distance? the authorities? I think someones looking for you Paul!
Paul Burrell looks around nervously, gathers his wine, and runs for the hills.
Princess Anne: (exasperated) That's no good, he's the only one who knows how to cut bread. Now what are we going to eat?
The tribe members look at each other. Prince Edward sizes up Prince Andrew, pinching him. Stomachs growl audibly.
On the next episode of Survivor Balmoral the remaining members of tribe Saxe-Coburg-Gotha descend into turmoil over the simplest of tasks.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
On the last episode of Survivor Balmoral, Paul Burrell won the immunity idol for winning the bed making challenge. Prince Philip had a setback after he failed the child rearing challenge. And Prince Edward narrowly escaped being permanently trapped in the loo. On this episode, the very survival of tribe Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is at risk when Princess Anne faces the challenge of cutting a slice of bread.
The Princess carefully approaches the counter. Four knives lay before her - Table, Paring, Bread, and Swiss Army. Along with them a wooden spoon. She picks up one of the implements up eyes the loaf with trepidation.
Prince Edward: I'm hungry
Prince Andrew: Yes, me too
Princess Anne: (turns towards them with the wooden spoon in hand) Stop it or I'll call Mummy.
Both men are silent. One of their stomachs growl audibly. Paul Burrell sits on a chair in the kitchen, chuckling to himself.
Paul: Need some help?
Princess Anne: Go away
Paul: Well, just thought I'd let you know that you can't cut a loaf of bread with a spoon.
Prince Edward: I can't handle this any longer.
Prince Edward grabs the bread off the counter and starts to savagely tear at it with his teeth. Prince Andrew wrestles the bread from him.
Meanwhile, in another part of the castle. Prince Charles sits beside a mop and bucket. He is weeping.
Prince Charles: (to the camera) I didn't realize it would be this hard. I don't even know which end of the mop to use. (He looks at the mop closer). You know, if it weren't for this monstrous carbuncle of fabric, this might be good for walking in the hills.
Prince William calls from another room.
Prince William: Papa!
Prince Charles: What is it Wills?
William, in a heightened state of anxiety, points to a crumpled piece of paper on the floor. Both princes look at the floor with trepidation. Charles takes the stick and pokes at the paper. Inching it closer to the wastebasket.
William: No Papa, this is my challenge.
William bravely bends down on the floor and starts to blow the paper. It slowly moves. Soon he is out of breath. He sits up, tears of frustration roll down his cheeks. Charles hugs William.
Prince Charles: We'll get through this together.
Later on at tribal council, the members of the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha tribe arrive tired and exhausted. Prince Edwards stomach rumbles. Paul Burrell sits and smiles smugly.The tribe members glower at him.
The Queen: Do you why you're all here?
Paul Burrell: Yes, it's so disappointing your Majesty. But they've tried so hard, with my help of course. May I offer you a glass of Royal Butler wine?
Prince Philip: (looks at Paul) What is that I hear in the distance? the authorities? I think someones looking for you Paul!
Paul Burrell looks around nervously, gathers his wine, and runs for the hills.
Princess Anne: (exasperated) That's no good, he's the only one who knows how to cut bread. Now what are we going to eat?
The tribe members look at each other. Prince Edward sizes up Prince Andrew, pinching him. Stomachs growl audibly.
On the next episode of Survivor Balmoral the remaining members of tribe Saxe-Coburg-Gotha descend into turmoil over the simplest of tasks.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Royal Review - Peter Phillips & Autumn Kelly Hello Wedding Issue
I've written several reviews for this blog but I don't believe I've ever written one about a magazine. Given the amount of interest in this issue, I've decided to do so.I'll admit that when I saw the engagement interview that Autumn and Peter gave to Hello I was delighted with it. I couldn't get my hands on it fast enough. It was an interesting interview, no earth shattering revelations with lovely photos of the couple. But I found it curious that Peter would have done an interview given the privacy he has maintained so successfully for the last 30 years.
But I was further surprised when their wedding got the Hello treatment. Although it is referred to as a Royal Wedding, I find it rather difficult to call it that. Despite being the Queen's grandson, Peter is not royal in that he has no title nor does he carry out public duties. The only royal aspect of this wedding is the location and the guest list which included senior members of the royal family.
For a member of the royal family to sell their wedding to a magazine is somewhat unprecedented. There's nothing new about the royal family stage-managing photo-ops. But this type of interview is something you would see a celebrity couple do, not royalty. Can you imagine Charles and Camilla sharing their love on the cover of Hello? or the Queen and Prince Philip opening the doors to their fabulous Scottish retreat, as they reflect on the enduring love of their 60-year marriage? Royal PR in the 21st century.
Despite all the speculation and uproar surrounding the wedding issue, it's actually fairly tasteful. No one looks uncomfortable. As if anticipating the furor Hello points this out: "Royalty did not appear displeased", and "spontaneous applause from the guests - which did not appear to ruffle the Queen in the least". It's interesting to note that once the wedding photos have been taken that senior members of the royal family, save for Sophie, are not photographed at the reception. The focus on the younger generation, specifically Kate Middleton and Chelsy Davy. Photos show Kate laughing, Chelsy and Kate on the dance-floor, Sophie smiling and clapping enthusiastically, Chelsy and Harry sharing an intimate moment, and the bride laughing as she leaves the reception. This is obviously a joyous event; save for the historic location no different from the wedding reception of any young couple.
The photos during the ceremony are lovely, touching and in no way intrusive. With royal weddings reverting to private occasions, it is a privilege to be privy to this one. The special looks between the couple, the first kiss after being pronounced husband and wife, and the clear delight on Princess Anne's face, makes for a new style of royal wedding; intimate and real.
Does this herald a change for the next royal wedding? Hopefully we won't have to wait long to find out.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 5
On the last episode of the Royal & The Clueless Kate had a visit from royal girlfriends past and present. We also learnt that William snores. On this episode, Kate goes to Peter Phillips and Autumn Kelly's wedding, standing in for Prince William, who is having a perfectly innocent visit to his childhood sweetheart, Jecca Craig, in Kenya. Kate vows to herself to change her image and decides to have people call her Catherine instead.Currently, Kate mingles at the wedding reception. Kate approaches Peter and Autumn in the receiving line.
Kate: Congratulations on your day. You look lovely. And the mini-doughnuts are an inspired choice.
Autumn: Thank you Kitty
Kate: Actually it's Catherine
Autumn moves on to another guest. Peter greets Kate next.
Peter: Hello Kat, so lovely you could make it.
Kate: Thank you Peter. I'd love it if people would call me Catherine from now on.
Peter: No problem Katie.
Kate approaches Prince Philip. Although contrary to popular belief, not mandatory in any way, Kate curtsies.
Prince Philip: Hello Kit
Kate: Actually it's Catherine sir. I'm trying to revert back to my real name - Catherine - Kate is just a nickname...
Prince Philip walks away
Prince Philip: I don't need a bloody lesson you know.
Kate grows increasingly more frustrated. Chelsy Davy approaches Kate.
Chelsy: Hello Cassi
Kate: It's Catherine
Chelsy: What?
Kate: Call me Catherine! I want people to call me CATHERINE!
Chelsy: (looks around, embarassed) Calm down Trina
Kate screams: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Will people ever call Kate by the name Catherine? Will we ever find out what the Queen really thinks of the Hello magazine photos? Tune in to the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
The Royal Report for Sunday May 25th, 2008 - Did Peter and Autumn sell out by giving an interview to Hello Magazine?
Note: There will be no Royal Report on Sunday June 1st and Sunday June 8th, 2008. I will return with a new show on Sunday June 15th. Topic to be determined!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Upcoming Royal Report - Did Peter and Autumn sell out by doing Hello?
Join me for the next Royal Report on Sunday May 25th, 2008 - 9:00PM EST (North America)
The topic will be: Did Peter and Autumn sell-out by giving an interview to Hello magazine?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
The topic will be: Did Peter and Autumn sell-out by giving an interview to Hello magazine?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Warning: Marrying into the royal family could be hazardous to your family's privacy
She's movie star beautiful. It's not difficult to see why people are interested in her. She's not a public figure, nor is she royal. Telma Ortiz is the sister of Crown Princess Letizia of Spain and she recently went to court to seek a restraining order against 50 media outlets covering her. A judge denied her request, stating that she was indeed a public figure. In effect, Telma lost her right to privacy.
She's not the first person in proximity to a royal to become the focus of media attention, nor will she be the last. Unfortunately the focus isn't normally on their accomplishments. The late Diana, Princess of Wales' brother, Earl Spencer became the subject of intense scrutiny, especially in the wake of his relationships, tumultuous first marriage and brief second one. His electrifying eulogy at Diana's funeral further raised his profile.
Sarah, Duchess of York's father, the late Major Ronald Ferguson became tabloid fodder for a visit to a massage parlour. He moved in royal circles for years as Prince Charles' polo manager. But it wasn't until his daughter married Prince Andrew in 1986 that he became public property.
Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall's son Tom Parker Bowles had a run in with the law after he was found in possession of cocaine. Kate Middleton's mother chewed gum at Prince William's passing out parade at Sandhurst. Suddenly she became a manipulative mother intent on getting her daughter to the royal altar by any means necessary. If she wasn't doing so already.
Now that the wedding is over, Autumn Kelly's family and friends have become casualties with revelations of her twin brother 'smoking a distinctly suspicious looking cigarette'. In the absence of any real controversy, publishing unflattering photos of one of her friends in the Daily Mail will suffice.
Telma Ortiz's request for a restraining order 'backfired' on her. According to a Time magazine article*: "She's going to get exactly what she didn't want, which is to become more famous." What did she do wrong? She tried to prevent coverage from all media outlets. Who does she think she is?
Someone who, like the examples above, didn't ask for this attention.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
This article was inspired by the following postings on the World of Royalty Blog:
Telma Ortiz wants privacy
* Telma Ortiz gets more famous
She's not the first person in proximity to a royal to become the focus of media attention, nor will she be the last. Unfortunately the focus isn't normally on their accomplishments. The late Diana, Princess of Wales' brother, Earl Spencer became the subject of intense scrutiny, especially in the wake of his relationships, tumultuous first marriage and brief second one. His electrifying eulogy at Diana's funeral further raised his profile.
Sarah, Duchess of York's father, the late Major Ronald Ferguson became tabloid fodder for a visit to a massage parlour. He moved in royal circles for years as Prince Charles' polo manager. But it wasn't until his daughter married Prince Andrew in 1986 that he became public property.
Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall's son Tom Parker Bowles had a run in with the law after he was found in possession of cocaine. Kate Middleton's mother chewed gum at Prince William's passing out parade at Sandhurst. Suddenly she became a manipulative mother intent on getting her daughter to the royal altar by any means necessary. If she wasn't doing so already.
Now that the wedding is over, Autumn Kelly's family and friends have become casualties with revelations of her twin brother 'smoking a distinctly suspicious looking cigarette'. In the absence of any real controversy, publishing unflattering photos of one of her friends in the Daily Mail will suffice.
Telma Ortiz's request for a restraining order 'backfired' on her. According to a Time magazine article*: "She's going to get exactly what she didn't want, which is to become more famous." What did she do wrong? She tried to prevent coverage from all media outlets. Who does she think she is?
Someone who, like the examples above, didn't ask for this attention.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
This article was inspired by the following postings on the World of Royalty Blog:
Telma Ortiz wants privacy
* Telma Ortiz gets more famous
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The Royal Watcher on CBC Radio
Fulfilling a long held dream to be on the radio, I had the opportunity to be interviewed on CBC Radio One about the wedding of Peter Philips and Autumn Kelly. 12 interviews in all, coast to coast across Canada, here are two of them.
This is the very first interview: Moncton, New Brunswick
Another one: Quebec City, Quebec
© Marilyn Braun 2008
This is the very first interview: Moncton, New Brunswick
Another one: Quebec City, Quebec
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Royal Watcher on CTV Newsnet
On Friday I had the opportunity to appear on CTV Newsnet to discuss the wedding of Peter Phillips to his Canadian fiancée Autumn Kelly.
P.S.: In case you're wondering the answer to that last crucial question. According to another CTV report, the bride, in a concession to her Canadian roots, served amongst other things, powdered sugar donuts.
P.S.: In case you're wondering the answer to that last crucial question. According to another CTV report, the bride, in a concession to her Canadian roots, served amongst other things, powdered sugar donuts.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
The Royal Report for Sunday May 18th, 2008 - Was Prince William's trip to Afghanistan a PR stunt?
Join me for the next Royal Report on Sunday May 25th, 2008 - 9:00PM EST (North America)
The topic will be: Did Peter Phillips and Autumn Kelly sell out by giving an interview to Hello Magazine?
Friday, May 16, 2008
Upcoming Royal Report - Sunday May 18th 2008
Tune in to the next Royal Report on Sunday May 18th 2008 at 9:00PM EST.
The topic will be: Prince William's trip to Afghanistan - PR Stunt or did he just happen to be in the area?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
The topic will be: Prince William's trip to Afghanistan - PR Stunt or did he just happen to be in the area?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 4
On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless, Prince William, Kate and Jecca Craig were left in a precarious position when their ski lift in Klosters broke from one of the cables. Through an inexplicable and conveniently timed rescue effort, Prince William and Kate escaped unscathed. Jecca Craig was rescued but for continuity reasons mysteriously disappeared shortly afterwards. In this episode William and Kate lay in bed. William is fast asleep, snoring. Kate tries to sleep but cannot. Suddenly a knock at the door. Confused, Kate gets up and opens it.
Koo Stark in an ethereal, yet tasteful, outfit stands before her. A white glow surrounds her as her hair blows in the wind from an unexplained source.
Kate: Who are you?
Koo: I'm the ghost of royal girlfriends past.
Kate: The ghost of?..
Koo: Don't worry about it. This was way before your time. I'm here to warn you what not to do.
Kate: What not to do?
Koo: Yes, many have come before you. Well, not with Prince William but there have been many royal girlfriends of the past. You must learn from them.
Kate: Am I doing something wrong?
Koo: No, but you could. Here's some tips. Don't appear in soft porn films. Don't talk to the media. Don't get married to someone else.
Kate: But I'm not doing any of those things. I won't do any of those things.
Koo: Really? Well I wish someone had given me that advice when I was dating Prince Andrew.
Kate: (furrows her brow) You dated Prince Andrew?
Koo: (wistfully) Yes, I know. But he was hot back then.
Kate: I should hope so.
Koo: Oh well, I guess you don't need me. Maybe the ghost of royal girlfriend present can help you.
Koo fades away. Kate looks down the hallway and turns back towards the bed. Chelsy Davy relaxes in a chaise lounge.
Kate: What are you doing here?
Chelsy: Jecca couldn't make it so I'm like the ghost of royal girlfriends present. Does he really snore like that?
Kate: What can you teach me?
Chelsy: (sighs) No wonder this is called the royal and the clueless. Kate, you have to play hard to get. You know, like go to a different country, clear your head. You're like making yourself too available. See, I left and look Prince Harry came running after me like a little puppy dog.
Kate: You can do that stuff, it's not like you're royal bride...
Chelsy: What?
Kate: Umm..nothing.
Chelsy: Okay well, I'm off to Mahiki...err.to study for exams
Chelsy starts to fade away and then fades back in
Chelsy: Oh yeah, you might as well stay awake. The ghost of royal girlfriends future will visit you.
Chelsy fades away. Kate wakes up, startled. She gets up and looks around the room. When she calms down she starts to think.
Kate: (whispering with steely resolve) I must step up my plans. I cannot let Prince William have another girlfriend, ever. I must become his wife.
Kate starts to laugh manically. William wakes up, groggy.
William: What's going on? Darling, who are you talking to?
Kate: No one. Go back to sleep darling.
Kate smiles and climbs into bed.
Will Kate ever go back to sleep? Will William stop snoring? Tune in to the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Sunday, May 04, 2008
The Royal Report for Sunday May 4th, 2008 - William & Kate: Are they close to an engagement?
Join me for the next Royal Report on Sunday May 11th, 2008 - 9:00PM EST.
The topic will be: William's trip to Afghanistan. PR Stunt or did he just happen to be in the area?
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Upcoming Royal Report: William & Kate - Are signs pointing towards a royal engagement?
Tune in for the next Royal Report on Sunday May 4th - 9:00PM EST.
The topic will be: William & Kate - Are signs pointing towards a royal engagement or are we reading too much into them?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
The topic will be: William & Kate - Are signs pointing towards a royal engagement or are we reading too much into them?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Royal Profile: Prince Andrew of Greece
Many biographies paint Prince Philip's father as a serious, distant figure who spent his life in exile as a playboy. But according to his great-niece, Queen Alexandra of Yugoslavia, he was "a tall genial, smiling gentleman, a truly lovable figure." He "was a connoisseur of all the good things in life." According to his son, he was a cheerful man who enjoyed pranks and practical jokes. Born in Athens on February 2, 1882, one of the first babies of Tatoi, he was the fourth son of King George I of the Hellenes and Queen Olga. He grew up in the Palace of Athens with his four brothers and two sisters. A family of many languages, his parents spoke German to each other, English to their children. The children spoke Greek to each other. Devoted to the country of his birth, Andrea, who would only speak Greek to his parents, insisted on sticking to Greek as his first language, speaking it more fluently than English. But like his son Prince Philip, he was not really Greek at all. Through his mother he was Russian and on his fathers side two parts Danish, one part Dutch and five parts German.
Tall, good-looking, quick witted and intelligent, Andrea was short-sighted and wore spectacles in early life, later adopting a monocle, which added an aura of distinction. Andrea was brought up to be a soldier and was passionate about his military career. At the age of fourteen he became a cadet at the Military School in Athens and in 1901 he was commissioned a subaltern in the calvary. In that year he met Princess Alice of Battenburg (daughter of Victoria, Marchioness of Milford Haven ). They became engaged the following year and were married (in one civil and two religious ceremonies) in Darmstadt on October 6th & 7th 1903.
After their wedding, the couple lived in Greece, first in the Palace of Athens and later at Mon Repos, the Greek royal residence on Corfu. They had four daughters: Margarita (1905-1981), Theodora (1906-1969), Cecile (1911-37), Sophie (1914-2001), and one son, Philip, Duke of Edinburgh in 1921.
In 1912-13 he took part in the Balkan Wars, during which his father was assasinated. His brother Constantine became king but he was forced to abdicate because of his neutral stance in the First World War. Prince Andrew and his family were banished with him and for three years they lived in exile in Switzerland. When Constantine was reinstated, they returned to Greece in 1920.
In 1922 he took command of the 2nd Army Corps in the war in Asia Minor. The Greeks were heavily defeated by the Turks and the King was once again deposed. Prince Andrew was allowed to remain in Greece, provided he stayed on Corfu, but he was summoned before the revolutionary court, charged with treason for his part in the disastrous Asia Minor campaign, imprisoned and sentenced to death. Princess Alice appealed to King George V for help. The British government intervened and negotiated Prince Andrew's release. He left Greece aboard the HMS Calypso, picking up Princess Alice and the children in Corfu.
The family settled in Saint-Cloud, on the outskirts of Paris. Prince Andrew wrote a book, Towards Disaster - his account of the campaign against the Turks. He returned to Greece briefly for the installation of his nephew as King George II in 1935, but the rest of his life would be spent in exile. The family drifted apart and eventually he moved to Monte Carlo where he settled with his lady friend the Countess Andrée de La Bigne.
He died of a heart attack in the Hotel Metropole in Monte Carlo, on December 3rd, 1944. According to his great-niece, "he got out of bed and donned his dressing-gown, slipped his monocle in his right eye, seated himself in his armchair and quietly died, meeting death itself like the great gentleman he always was." He was taken to rest in the Russian Orthodox Church in Nice. Two years later his body was returned to his own country and buried in the gardens of Tatoi, the royal residence to the north of Athens.
His gravestone reads:
Andrea Vasilopais (Son of a King)
Prince of Greece
Prince of Denmark
1882-1944
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
The Royal Report for Sunday April 27th, 2008 - Camilla, 3 years later
The next Royal Report will be on Sunday May 4th, 2008 at 9:00PM.
The topic will be: With the recent trip to Klosters and Kate attending William's RAF Wings ceremony, many have seen these events as signs that they will announce their engagement. But will they? Or are we reading too much into it?
Upcoming Royal Report - Sunday April 27, 2008
Join me for the next Royal Reporton Sunday April 27, 2008 at 9:00PM EST.
The topic will be: Camilla, 3 years later.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
The topic will be: Camilla, 3 years later.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Prince William the Pretty
Prince William has been in the news quite a bit lately. He recently graduated from the RAF, earning some snazzy wings in the process, Kate Middleton was in attendance at this event, thus igniting engagement rumours to fever pitch. Then he landed a helicopter on the property belonging to Kate Middleton's parents. How romantic/foolish/wasteful of taxpayers money/[insert your opinion here]. While controversy swirls around him, one fact is completly undeniable.The man looks good in a uniform.
It's true. I've never really been a fan of William's looks. Sure he was a cute baby, somewhat adorable toddler, and a perfect teen pinup at 14, but now at almost 26 he's practically losing his looks. He still bears a striking resemblance to his mother, but his appearance is clearly veering towards the Spencer side of the family, specifically the late Earl Spencer . Fortunately he never inherited his father's looks. Not to say the Windsors aren't a rather handsome family but they just don't age well....sorry, where was I?
Yes, William looks positively yummy in that uniform.
Seeing a picture of William and Kate walking together at the ceremony, Kate clearly has the best accessory in the room. We should all be that lucky. A lot of focus went into Kate's prescence, while people completely ignored William's uniform. Lest it be forgotten, this post will hopefully set things right.
William went for simplicity, wearing only his one lone medal. The emphasis was clearly on the wings - as it should be. The uniform fit perfectly, the blue shirt bringing out the color of his eyes, the shoes polished to gleaming perfection by an underpaid valet. When young, the Windsor men look good in uniform. Go past the age of 30 and things go downhill. If in doubt, look at Prince Andrew, Duke of York circa 1986 vs now. It's just not pretty. Past 30 their chests are weighed down by rows of unearned medals, clashing ribbons, and loops of gold braid useful for, if nothing else, making Tarzan like escapes.
Judging by the photo, William looks good in uniform, it suits him. Which is good because it goes with the job. Next he will go to the Navy and add yet another uniform to his closet; lovingly maintained by yet another unpaid valet. In future years he will slowly start to stoop under the weight of his decorations and we will look back at William circa 2008 and wistfully wonder what happened.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
The Royal Report for Sunday April 20, 2008 - A Salute to the Diana Inquest
The next Royal Report will be on Sunday April 27, 2008 at 9:00PM. The topic will be: Camilla, 3 years later. How is she adjusting as a member of the royal family?
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
"I Hate Kate Middleton"
It's a sentiment shared by several royal watchers.
What's there to really like about her anyways?
Every public figure has their dissenters. People who will never like them no matter what they say, do, date, don't date, or who they marry. Whether due to envy, jealousy, or just because. Many people simply don't like her.
To each their own.
Is Kate here to stay? Is her mother manipulating the situation? Scheming to get her daughter a golden page in the history books? Quite possibly. Is Kate just biding her time until Prince William realizes she won't leave him alone until he capitulates?
Has William been duped? Brainwashed? Will we ever know? During the engagement interview will we see the sheer terror in his eyes hidden behind the forced smile? A desperate 'rescue me' escapes his pursed lips as Kate tightens the leash she hides in his bespoke suit. Yes this is the stuff which modern day fairy tales are made.
In the sheer jubilation of the Kate supporters will we even care? The 'I hate Kate' contingent will be drowned out by wedding dress speculation. Happily ever after rhetoric will follow. Maybe Kate has duped us all.
Like Diana, Kate inevitably fell from grace. You can only coast on fashionable clothes and glossy hair for so long. When did it start? Was it quitting her job at Jigsaw to pursue photography? Was it her mother and 'Toiletgate'? Was it one too many media harassment complaints? Is she too Sloaney? Has she gone to Boujis too many times?
When news of their break-up was announced, their relationship was dissected - whose fault was it? Most believe William ditched Kate. After all, who would dump royalty? Obviously Kate wasn't good enough. She must have put too much pressure on William. The only one who could have told us was Kate, who, to her credit, didn't sell her story. When their relationship resumed, Kate was still seen as scheming and manipulative. She just can't win.
Maybe Kate is wasting her education. Maybe she did quit her job prematurely and her photography is an amusing foil. Or maybe it is true love. Believe whatever you want. Everyone is entitled to their opinion of her.
The wisest move Kate can make is to not listen to it.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Note: This post is meant to be ironic. For the record, I don't hate Kate. To read more about her, visit The Kate Middleton Report.
What's there to really like about her anyways?
Every public figure has their dissenters. People who will never like them no matter what they say, do, date, don't date, or who they marry. Whether due to envy, jealousy, or just because. Many people simply don't like her.
To each their own.
Is Kate here to stay? Is her mother manipulating the situation? Scheming to get her daughter a golden page in the history books? Quite possibly. Is Kate just biding her time until Prince William realizes she won't leave him alone until he capitulates?
Has William been duped? Brainwashed? Will we ever know? During the engagement interview will we see the sheer terror in his eyes hidden behind the forced smile? A desperate 'rescue me' escapes his pursed lips as Kate tightens the leash she hides in his bespoke suit. Yes this is the stuff which modern day fairy tales are made.
In the sheer jubilation of the Kate supporters will we even care? The 'I hate Kate' contingent will be drowned out by wedding dress speculation. Happily ever after rhetoric will follow. Maybe Kate has duped us all.
Like Diana, Kate inevitably fell from grace. You can only coast on fashionable clothes and glossy hair for so long. When did it start? Was it quitting her job at Jigsaw to pursue photography? Was it her mother and 'Toiletgate'? Was it one too many media harassment complaints? Is she too Sloaney? Has she gone to Boujis too many times?
When news of their break-up was announced, their relationship was dissected - whose fault was it? Most believe William ditched Kate. After all, who would dump royalty? Obviously Kate wasn't good enough. She must have put too much pressure on William. The only one who could have told us was Kate, who, to her credit, didn't sell her story. When their relationship resumed, Kate was still seen as scheming and manipulative. She just can't win.
Maybe Kate is wasting her education. Maybe she did quit her job prematurely and her photography is an amusing foil. Or maybe it is true love. Believe whatever you want. Everyone is entitled to their opinion of her.
The wisest move Kate can make is to not listen to it.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Note: This post is meant to be ironic. For the record, I don't hate Kate. To read more about her, visit The Kate Middleton Report.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Survivor Balmoral - Day 33
Trapped in their home for 39 days with no servants to wait on them, no private secretaries as go between, the royals must communicate directly with each other and make their own beds. Through a series of challenges, each contestant will prove that they are the real Royal Survivor.
This week, tribe Windsor merges with tribe Hanover. Joining the Windsor's are Paul Burrell and Prince Harry's girlfriend, Chelsy Davy. The tribe descends into turmoil when Paul Burrell tries to ingratiate himself with Chelsy. The remaining members of tribe Windsor are: Prince Charles, Prince William, Prince Andrew, Princess Anne, Prince Edward, and Prince Philip. Now that the tribes have merged, a new tribe called Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is formed.
Chelsy is busy sunning herself. Paul Burrell approaches her.
Paul: (to Chelsy) Did you know I used to work for the royal family? I was Diana's rock..the keeper of her...
Chelsy: Are you lying to me?
Paul: Well, I have been known to be naughty. Can I offer you some of my Royal Butler wine? How about a signed copy of one of my books?...
Chelsy: Go away, you're blocking my sun.
Princess Anne faces a new challenge: Opening the door. Princess Anne goes up to the door, looking at it curiously. She takes a few deep breaths, pensive. She is nervous and gives herself a pep talk before her attempt.
Princess Anne: Just turn the handle and open the door. Turn the handle, open the door...
Unbeknownst to her, on the other side of the door, Prince Andrew is also facing the challenge of opening the same door.
Prince Andrew (wipes the sweat from his brow): Just turn the handle and open the door. Turn the handle, open the door....
Princess Anne and Prince Andrew (frustrated, in unison): Oh bother!
In another part of the castle, Prince Charles has located the kitchen and is preparing to boil an egg. He holds the chicken aloft over the boiling water.*
Prince Philip: Don't you know that you must wait for the chicken to lay the egg?
Prince Charles (to the chicken): I command you to give me fresh eggs.
Prince Philip: (Takes the chicken from Charles) Here, let me do it!
Philip shakes the chicken up and down. Charles tries to grab the chicken back, but it flutters away and runs for its life.
Meanwhile, Prince Edward is still in the loo trying to draw his own bath. The Queen is outside to door, waiting.
The Queen: Edward, open the door, I have to go to the loo
Prince Edward goes towards the door to open it. He looks confused at the handle. He starts to take some deep breaths.
Prince Edward: Just turn the handle and open the door...turn the handle and open the door...
The door does not open
Prince Edward: Mummy I'm stuck!!!
Later on, at Tribal Council, the Queen gathers tribe Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. Prince Philip has failed the child rearing challenge. Paul Burrell has the immunity idol after winning the bed-making challenge.
The Queen: Where's Edward?
Prince Edward: (runs towards the group, panting and sweaty) Here I am, Mummy!
Prince Philip: (to Edward) You're completely out of shape, didn't the army teach you anything?...oh wait, never mind..
The Queen: Tonight someone must go home. It seems there's some dead weight in the tribe....
Chelsy: (sulky) This is so boring!
Chelsy gets up and grabs her sunscreen.
Chelsy: I'm off to Boujis!
On the next episode of Survivor Balmoral, Prince Charles attempts to mop the floor while Prince William cleans up after himself.
This week, tribe Windsor merges with tribe Hanover. Joining the Windsor's are Paul Burrell and Prince Harry's girlfriend, Chelsy Davy. The tribe descends into turmoil when Paul Burrell tries to ingratiate himself with Chelsy. The remaining members of tribe Windsor are: Prince Charles, Prince William, Prince Andrew, Princess Anne, Prince Edward, and Prince Philip. Now that the tribes have merged, a new tribe called Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is formed.
Chelsy is busy sunning herself. Paul Burrell approaches her.
Paul: (to Chelsy) Did you know I used to work for the royal family? I was Diana's rock..the keeper of her...
Chelsy: Are you lying to me?
Paul: Well, I have been known to be naughty. Can I offer you some of my Royal Butler wine? How about a signed copy of one of my books?...
Chelsy: Go away, you're blocking my sun.
Princess Anne faces a new challenge: Opening the door. Princess Anne goes up to the door, looking at it curiously. She takes a few deep breaths, pensive. She is nervous and gives herself a pep talk before her attempt.
Princess Anne: Just turn the handle and open the door. Turn the handle, open the door...
Unbeknownst to her, on the other side of the door, Prince Andrew is also facing the challenge of opening the same door.
Prince Andrew (wipes the sweat from his brow): Just turn the handle and open the door. Turn the handle, open the door....
Princess Anne and Prince Andrew (frustrated, in unison): Oh bother!
In another part of the castle, Prince Charles has located the kitchen and is preparing to boil an egg. He holds the chicken aloft over the boiling water.*
Prince Philip: Don't you know that you must wait for the chicken to lay the egg?
Prince Charles (to the chicken): I command you to give me fresh eggs.
Prince Philip: (Takes the chicken from Charles) Here, let me do it!
Philip shakes the chicken up and down. Charles tries to grab the chicken back, but it flutters away and runs for its life.
Meanwhile, Prince Edward is still in the loo trying to draw his own bath. The Queen is outside to door, waiting.
The Queen: Edward, open the door, I have to go to the loo
Prince Edward goes towards the door to open it. He looks confused at the handle. He starts to take some deep breaths.
Prince Edward: Just turn the handle and open the door...turn the handle and open the door...
The door does not open
Prince Edward: Mummy I'm stuck!!!
Later on, at Tribal Council, the Queen gathers tribe Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. Prince Philip has failed the child rearing challenge. Paul Burrell has the immunity idol after winning the bed-making challenge.
The Queen: Where's Edward?
Prince Edward: (runs towards the group, panting and sweaty) Here I am, Mummy!
Prince Philip: (to Edward) You're completely out of shape, didn't the army teach you anything?...oh wait, never mind..
The Queen: Tonight someone must go home. It seems there's some dead weight in the tribe....
Chelsy: (sulky) This is so boring!
Chelsy gets up and grabs her sunscreen.
Chelsy: I'm off to Boujis!
On the next episode of Survivor Balmoral, Prince Charles attempts to mop the floor while Prince William cleans up after himself.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
*Note: No chickens were harmed while writing this article.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Yes, the Royals do death rather well
Some reports about Prince Philip's recent stay at a hospital for a chest infection have included a biography of his life, sounding like a preliminary obituary, ready to replace the 'Prince Philip is' with 'Prince Philip was'. At the age of 86 and currently the oldest member of the royal family, media outlets are gearing up for the inevitable. Indeed, many have already prepared obituaries, not only for the royal family but for other public figures. Morbid efficiency at it's finest.
I don't wish ill on anyone. People don't like to discuss death. But when any member of the royal family dies it is a big event. The equivalent of hitting the jackpot. "The British do death rather well" is one quote I've heard over the years. Planned down to the last detail, even the royals themselves are masters of morbid efficiency. Nothing is left to chance. That is, until Diana died, and then everything was thrown into chaos.
Other than a U.S. President/ex-president, no one marks death on such a major scale like royalty. With the masses suffering from inescapable media coverage, they go outside, gather, lay floral bouquets, and sign condolence books which will be archived unread. Comparisons to Queen Victoria's widowhood will be made. Majesty magazine will have a special issue. The Republican movement will have their slingshots, BB guns and petition forms out. Horse drawn corteges rumble through the streets, and close-ups of royal grief will be analysed. Prince Philip's controversial sayings will be poured over; sadly defining a life lived in the spotlight for 60 years. It may not be what Prince Philip would have wanted, but will people settle for anything less than that for the longest serving royal consort?
Maybe this article is premature. But mark my words, it will happen.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
I don't wish ill on anyone. People don't like to discuss death. But when any member of the royal family dies it is a big event. The equivalent of hitting the jackpot. "The British do death rather well" is one quote I've heard over the years. Planned down to the last detail, even the royals themselves are masters of morbid efficiency. Nothing is left to chance. That is, until Diana died, and then everything was thrown into chaos.
Other than a U.S. President/ex-president, no one marks death on such a major scale like royalty. With the masses suffering from inescapable media coverage, they go outside, gather, lay floral bouquets, and sign condolence books which will be archived unread. Comparisons to Queen Victoria's widowhood will be made. Majesty magazine will have a special issue. The Republican movement will have their slingshots, BB guns and petition forms out. Horse drawn corteges rumble through the streets, and close-ups of royal grief will be analysed. Prince Philip's controversial sayings will be poured over; sadly defining a life lived in the spotlight for 60 years. It may not be what Prince Philip would have wanted, but will people settle for anything less than that for the longest serving royal consort?
Maybe this article is premature. But mark my words, it will happen.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Prince William & Kate Middleton's Special Day
Kate Middleton and Prince William's recent trip to Klosters is probably the most discussed ski trip in the history of ski trips. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. The speculation has provided material for The Kate Middleton Report that otherwise would have been non-existent had the couple just decided to stay at home. But enough is enough.
The engagement rumours are not new. They seem to have a pattern to them. Case in point. Christmas 2007? Instead Kate got a pair of fake diamond earrings. When Kate turned 26 her birthday was the perfect opportunity for William to propose. When that didn't pan out, Valentine's Day became the key occasion. This year we had a leap year when Kate could have taken the ball into her own hands. When that didn't pan out, the Klosters trip, while not leading to a proposal itself, was seen as sure evidence of an imminent one. If it doesn't happen any time soon, well there's always Christmas 2008. And on and on it goes.
While people seem to focus on Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day or the couple simply standing beside each other, there are other important proposal opportunities to consider:
January 13th: Make your dream come true day. It would make all of us so happy!
February 15th: National Singles Day. Kate has no doubt marked many of these without even realizing it.
March 9th: National Panic Day. Christmas and Valentine's day have passed, might as well bite the bullet.
April 2nd: National reconciliation day. Prince William, don't drop the ball this time.
May 1st: May Day. Spring is coming, love is in the air. What a lovely opportunity!
June 1st: Flip a coin day. Heads William proposes, tails Kate kicks him to the curb.
July 14th: Pandemonium Day. You can't mark this day without a reason.
July 26th: All or nothing day. This should be self-explanatory, there's no middle ground on this day..no grey area...
August 25th: Kiss and make up day. William, you're lucky Kate is giving you another chance.
August 27th: Just because day. Why not? Other than our respect, what do you have to lose?
September 6th: Fight procrastination day. William, make a decision, take action, just do it! We'll be happy you did.
October 18th: Sweetest Day. It will be even sweeter if you propose William.
November 13th: Sadie Hawkins Day. Don't' bother running William, you can't escape.
December 31st: Make up your mind day. William, just do it!
There you have it. No need to thank me. Well, you can always invite me to the wedding...
© Marilyn Braun 2008
The engagement rumours are not new. They seem to have a pattern to them. Case in point. Christmas 2007? Instead Kate got a pair of fake diamond earrings. When Kate turned 26 her birthday was the perfect opportunity for William to propose. When that didn't pan out, Valentine's Day became the key occasion. This year we had a leap year when Kate could have taken the ball into her own hands. When that didn't pan out, the Klosters trip, while not leading to a proposal itself, was seen as sure evidence of an imminent one. If it doesn't happen any time soon, well there's always Christmas 2008. And on and on it goes.
While people seem to focus on Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day or the couple simply standing beside each other, there are other important proposal opportunities to consider:
January 13th: Make your dream come true day. It would make all of us so happy!
February 15th: National Singles Day. Kate has no doubt marked many of these without even realizing it.
March 9th: National Panic Day. Christmas and Valentine's day have passed, might as well bite the bullet.
April 2nd: National reconciliation day. Prince William, don't drop the ball this time.
May 1st: May Day. Spring is coming, love is in the air. What a lovely opportunity!
June 1st: Flip a coin day. Heads William proposes, tails Kate kicks him to the curb.
July 14th: Pandemonium Day. You can't mark this day without a reason.
July 26th: All or nothing day. This should be self-explanatory, there's no middle ground on this day..no grey area...
August 25th: Kiss and make up day. William, you're lucky Kate is giving you another chance.
August 27th: Just because day. Why not? Other than our respect, what do you have to lose?
September 6th: Fight procrastination day. William, make a decision, take action, just do it! We'll be happy you did.
October 18th: Sweetest Day. It will be even sweeter if you propose William.
November 13th: Sadie Hawkins Day. Don't' bother running William, you can't escape.
December 31st: Make up your mind day. William, just do it!
There you have it. No need to thank me. Well, you can always invite me to the wedding...
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
The Royal Report for Tuesday April 1, 2008 - What's wrong with wanting to be a princess?
Please note there will be no show on Sunday April 6th or Sunday April 13th. The Royal Report will return on Sunday April 20th with a Salute to the Diana Inquest.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Upcoming Royal Report - Date and time change
The next Royal Report will be on Tuesday April 1, 2008 (no joke!). I will post the podcast widget once the show is done.
The topic will be: What's wrong with wanting to be a princess? Feminists decry little girls dressing up in Disney Princess Costumes, but is there really anything wrong with it?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
The topic will be: What's wrong with wanting to be a princess? Feminists decry little girls dressing up in Disney Princess Costumes, but is there really anything wrong with it?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The Royal Report for Tuesday March 25, 2008 - Who should succeed the Queen when she dies?
Join me for my next show on Sunday March 30th. The topic will be: What's wrong with wanting to be a princess? Feminists decry little girls dressing up in Disney Princess Costumes? But is there anything really wrong with it?
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Upcoming Royal Report: Recent Angus Reid poll
The next Royal Report will be on Sunday March 23rd, 2008 - 9:00PM EST.
I will discuss the results of a recent Angus Reid poll about the future of the monarchy in Canada.
I hope that you will join me!
© Marilyn Braun 2008
I will discuss the results of a recent Angus Reid poll about the future of the monarchy in Canada.
I hope that you will join me!
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The Royal and The Clueless - Episode 3
On the last episode, William and Kate discussed their relationship before heading off to a make or break holiday, where they continued talking. Now they are in Klosters, the skiing playground of the rich and famous, favorite ski-resort to Prince Charles, and according to the official website: those hungry for discovery.
Presently, William and Kate sit in the car riding up to the top of the hill. Unbeknownst to Kate, Jecca Craig is riding along. William uncomfortably sits between them.
Kate: (noticing Jecca for the first time) What are you doing here?
Jecca: I'm on holiday. (Jecca notices William for the first time) Oh William, fancy meeting you here!
William: (to Kate) Jecca, this is Kate, my girlfriend. Kate this is my good friend Jecca.
Jecca: (her hair blows in the wind) Yes, we're very good friends, aren't we William?
Kate: (Testy) I see. William, wasn't Camilla a 'good friend' of your father?
William is uncomfortable. They're riding in a double chair-lift.
Jecca: (to Kate) Yes, William is very loyal.
Kate: (to Jecca) Stay away from my man!
Jecca: (to Kate) Make me!
Kate lunges at Jecca. The double chair-lift starts to sway dangerously.
William: Ladies, please!
Kate and Jecca take no notice and push him into the retention bar, which knocks the wind out of William. Kate attempts to climb behind William to get at Jecca. The women continue fighting, not noticing that the rope is coming loose from the track. Suddenly the rope gives way and the one side of the car with Jecca on it drops, perilously dangling. William grabs hold of Jecca, holding on for dear life.
Jecca (to William) Don't let me go!!
Kate: (to William) Let her go! Then we can finally be together!
Jecca starts to slip from William's grip.
Jecca: Don't let me go!!
Will William let Jecca go? Or will it be an unfortunate accident? What, if anything, does Prince Philip have to do with this? Tune in to the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
The Royal Report for Sunday March 16, 2008 - Should Prince Harry have been pulled from Afghanistan?
The next Royal Report will be on Sunday March 23rd, 2008. Inspired by a recent Angus Reid poll on the subject, I will discuss the question: Should the throne skip a generation and go to Prince William instead?
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Upcoming Royal Report: Should Harry have been pulled from Afghanistan?
Join me for the Royal Report on Sunday March 16th, 2008.
The topic will be: Should Harry have been pulled from Afghanistan?
Note that the show will be on at a different time: 6:00PM Pacific time (9:00PM Eastern time)
© Marilyn Braun 2008
The topic will be: Should Harry have been pulled from Afghanistan?
Note that the show will be on at a different time: 6:00PM Pacific time (9:00PM Eastern time)
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Royal Rant: The succession question
Ah yes, a new poll which includes the question about who people would prefer to succeed the Queen: William or Charles.
I already wrote about this in my article: The Sport of Royal Watchers, so it should be clear on how I feel about the subject. So I'm not going to focus on that. What I will focus on is the paragraph:
So, let me state categorically, for the record, that barring any tragedy..he (Prince Charles) will succeed the Queen as the next King. No Angus Reid poll, heated message board discussions, or your personal opinion on the matter will change that.
When that paragraph was written, it was in the heat of the moment. First of all, regardless of how strongly I feel about this subject, everyone is entitled to their opinion. And there are differing opinions. The comments make that clear. However, when this question is asked I think it focuses less on whether Charles is a capable future monarch and more about Prince William and his good looks. That's probably what bothers me the most about it. Charles is next in line to succeed. Again, barring any unforeseen tragedy, he will become king. It's not a question, it's a fact.
I'm wagering a guess that the people who choose Prince William, answer this question with the Charles/Diana/Camilla tabloid triangle in the back of their minds. Just my opinion. What do most people know of Charles otherwise? Maybe play a word association game in your mind. What is the first thing that comes to you when you think of Charles: Ears? Diana? Tampons? Camilla? I'll be honest, some of these things do come to my mind. But they don't distract from whether he's capable of being a good king. It never occurs to me that the monarchy should skip a generation. Because it can't.
I'm not a monarchist, I'm not necessarily a die-hard fan of Prince Charles. But he's next in line to be King. That's it. No poll results change that. Other than looking the most like Diana, and being young, what qualifies Prince William replace Charles? It's a fact that he will. Eventually. But what are people basing their answer in choosing William? Maybe that's a poll in itself?
I have now grown resigned to the question of whether the succession should skip a generation. But that won't stop me from ranting about it.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
I already wrote about this in my article: The Sport of Royal Watchers, so it should be clear on how I feel about the subject. So I'm not going to focus on that. What I will focus on is the paragraph:
So, let me state categorically, for the record, that barring any tragedy..he (Prince Charles) will succeed the Queen as the next King. No Angus Reid poll, heated message board discussions, or your personal opinion on the matter will change that.
When that paragraph was written, it was in the heat of the moment. First of all, regardless of how strongly I feel about this subject, everyone is entitled to their opinion. And there are differing opinions. The comments make that clear. However, when this question is asked I think it focuses less on whether Charles is a capable future monarch and more about Prince William and his good looks. That's probably what bothers me the most about it. Charles is next in line to succeed. Again, barring any unforeseen tragedy, he will become king. It's not a question, it's a fact.
I'm wagering a guess that the people who choose Prince William, answer this question with the Charles/Diana/Camilla tabloid triangle in the back of their minds. Just my opinion. What do most people know of Charles otherwise? Maybe play a word association game in your mind. What is the first thing that comes to you when you think of Charles: Ears? Diana? Tampons? Camilla? I'll be honest, some of these things do come to my mind. But they don't distract from whether he's capable of being a good king. It never occurs to me that the monarchy should skip a generation. Because it can't.
I'm not a monarchist, I'm not necessarily a die-hard fan of Prince Charles. But he's next in line to be King. That's it. No poll results change that. Other than looking the most like Diana, and being young, what qualifies Prince William replace Charles? It's a fact that he will. Eventually. But what are people basing their answer in choosing William? Maybe that's a poll in itself?
I have now grown resigned to the question of whether the succession should skip a generation. But that won't stop me from ranting about it.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Is Kate Middleton too upwardly mobile?
Minus the evil step-mother, step-sisters, relentless servitude, and fashion savvy mice, it should have been a Cinderella story. The handsome Prince had finally found the woman of his dreams: beautiful, photogenic, stylish, and very patient. And this woman, had found the man of her dreams: titled, rich, socially prominent, and handsome. A love story if there ever was one.
However, other than his title they really have very little in common with the traditional tale. Many even go as far as to say that she schemed her way into Prince William's heart. Cinderella was just a dreamer, looking longingly at the palace as she cleaned house. She didn't apply to the same university as Prince William, or model a diaphanous outfit in front of him. No Cinderelly had sheer luck going for her when her fairy godmother magically appeared in her life.
Modern Cinderella wannabes need more than sheer luck. They need determination and ambitious mothers who see the long-range picture. Mothers who then need to back off and let columnists spin the relationship into a fairytale. Columnists who then turn her daughter into the ideal future princess and inevitable royal bride if only Prince Charming would make up his mind. The ball is now an exclusive club with expensive drinks. Today's glass slipper is now a stylish Jimmy Choo with a three-inch heel; ready to step on anyone who gets in her way. Cinderella never looked so good.
And she only had to contend with her step-mother and step-sisters. Kate Middleton has to deal with something far more virulent: jealous royal watchers who viciously tear her apart for her fashion choices, background, and continued prescence in William's life. A new show called 'William and Kate - A Royal Romance' tackles these snooty royal watchers and palace snoops, with James Hewitt, Diana's one-time toyboy, chiming in for good measure.
Maybe the truth will finally be revealed. More than likely not. But isn't it fun to speculate?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
However, other than his title they really have very little in common with the traditional tale. Many even go as far as to say that she schemed her way into Prince William's heart. Cinderella was just a dreamer, looking longingly at the palace as she cleaned house. She didn't apply to the same university as Prince William, or model a diaphanous outfit in front of him. No Cinderelly had sheer luck going for her when her fairy godmother magically appeared in her life.
Modern Cinderella wannabes need more than sheer luck. They need determination and ambitious mothers who see the long-range picture. Mothers who then need to back off and let columnists spin the relationship into a fairytale. Columnists who then turn her daughter into the ideal future princess and inevitable royal bride if only Prince Charming would make up his mind. The ball is now an exclusive club with expensive drinks. Today's glass slipper is now a stylish Jimmy Choo with a three-inch heel; ready to step on anyone who gets in her way. Cinderella never looked so good.
And she only had to contend with her step-mother and step-sisters. Kate Middleton has to deal with something far more virulent: jealous royal watchers who viciously tear her apart for her fashion choices, background, and continued prescence in William's life. A new show called 'William and Kate - A Royal Romance' tackles these snooty royal watchers and palace snoops, with James Hewitt, Diana's one-time toyboy, chiming in for good measure.
Maybe the truth will finally be revealed. More than likely not. But isn't it fun to speculate?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Royal Report for Sunday March 9th, 2008
Unfortunately, there will be no Royal Report tomorrow night. I dislocated my shoulder earlier in the week, which makes it very difficult to type a script.
Hopefully I will be back to my old self, with two working arms, next week.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Hopefully I will be back to my old self, with two working arms, next week.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
The Royal & The Clueless
On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless, Prince William and Kate Middleton's relationship crisis came to a head, necessitating urgent discussion. This week, they continue talking.
William: Kate, there's something I have to tell you. I think we should cool it for a while.
Kate: But why William? Don't you see that I love you?
William: Yes, but I've got so many things going on...flying planes...dancing with blonde's...
Kate: But our love is real...and true...
William takes Kate in his arms and looks into her eyes
William: Let's make a secret pact, that no one but us will know about until one of our friends leaks it to the media.
Kate: (Breathless) Oh that sounds so wonderful!
William: We need to wait. Put things on hold until I finish my flight training.
Kate: (looks dreamily off into the distance) And then we'll finally be together!
William: Uh...well, yes...then I have to take on royal duties...you know, token charity work...
Kate: Yes, of course. And then we'll finally be together..
William: Uh...well..I have to establish myself in my royal role. That's going to take some time...
Kate: And then we'll finally be together?
William: I'll have my private secretary check my calendar..the earliest would be 2011
On the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless, William and Kate take a make or break holiday, where they continue talking.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
Sunday, March 02, 2008
The Royal Report for Sunday March 2nd, 2008 - Should the Diana Inquest end?
Note: This show cut off after 14 minutes. I continued blathering on about the topic for another 15 minutes, finally coming to the conclusion that the inquest will continue, like it or not, and that we should enjoy the ride, in all its voyeuristic glory, while it lasts.
The next show will be on Sunday March 9th 5:00PM PST (8:00PM EST)
The topic will be: Should Prince Harry have been sent home from Afghanistan?
Upcoming Royal Report: Should the Diana Inquest end?
The next Royal Report will be on Sunday March 2nd, 2008.
6:00PM PST (9:00PM EST) Note the time change!!
The topic will be: Should the Diana Inquest come to an end?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
6:00PM PST (9:00PM EST) Note the time change!!
The topic will be: Should the Diana Inquest come to an end?
© Marilyn Braun 2008
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