Review: Reinventing The Royals - Part 1 - Crisis

A few months prior to its release, it was reported that  Buckingham Palace had attempted to prevent the broadcast of Reinventing the Royals, a two part series presented by Stephen Hewlett, about the relationship between the media and the monarchy. As in many cases with 'controversial' books or television specials, the controversy has turned out to be much ado about nothing. (You can watch the first episode at the bottom of this post).


Part One, titled Crisis, begins with the excessive coverage of Diana, Princess of Wales in the early 1990s and how her death resulted in changes to the way the media covers members of the royal family, specifically Prince William and Prince Harry. Several royal correspondents and editors offer their insights, including Penny Junor, Jennie Bond, Robert Jobson, Richard Kay, Arthur Edwards and Sandy Henney (Former press secretary to the Prince of Wales) to name a few. However, in the process of offering only one side, it effectively paints the media during this period at the mercy of Prince Charles and his spin doctors. To quote Richard Kay, "we know we are being used. We are always being used."


In the wake of Diana's death, Prince Charles reputation was at its lowest point and in 1996 he hired a spin doctor, Mark Bolland, then Director of the Press Complaints Commission. Effective in his outcomes but ruthless in his practices, Bolland promoted and revitalized Prince Charles's image at the expense of other members of the royal family and William and Harry's privacy. In a controversial campaign referred to as 'Operation Mrs. PB,' Charles relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles gained gradual acceptance via a series of strategically reported meetings and highly choreographed public appearances.


As Charles and Camilla's relationship gained legitimacy, interest in William and Harry intensified but they were protected by the 'Pressure Cooker Agreement,' negotiated in 1995 at the time William began his education at Eton.  This agreement protected the Princes privacy during their education, placing a ban on media stories about them. In exchange for their cooperation, the press would be granted occasional official access. However, the agreement threatened to deteriorate when the press received stories and photographs they could not use.


In order to satiate the press, Sandy Henney arranged for a photographer and cameraman to have access to Prince William to shoot images and footage for his 18th birthday. These images were meant to be shared with other media outlets, but the photographer involved in the photos, on contract to the Daily Telegraph, ended up giving that newspaper a competitive advantage. Rival newspapers accused Prince Charles' office of favoritism and Sandy Henney lost her job as a result of this arrangement.


Mark Bolland admitted to distorting events surrounding Prince Harry's drug use and later resigned from the Prince of Wales's office. As Bolland's efforts denigrated other members of the royal family, the Queen appointed Sir Michael Peat as the Prince of Wales' new private secretary, creating a new focus for his press office that put the media's relationship with them on more traditional ground.


Predictably, this was not likely to last. Part Two will air on February 26th.





© Marilyn Braun 2015


Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

Royal Book Challenge: Settling Down by James Whitaker

Book 11/500

Settling Down by James Whitaker
128 Pages
Published 1981
ISBN: 0704333856

Hard to believe, but at one point Prince Charles was one of the worlds most eligible bachelors. The media was just as interested in his relationships, maybe even more so, than Prince William's bachelor status 30 years later.

In his time the prince was linked with several women, whether he went out with them or not. Settling Down focuses on the courtship of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer. Whitaker holds nothing back about his efforts to get the exclusive story, which is far more interesting than the rest of the book. Unlike other books written about their relationship, Diana is not presented as Cinderella, nor is Charles presented as Prince Charming. Whitaker doesn't romanticize either of them. Diana is shrewd, cunning and not even remotely like the 'Shy Di' of lore. And Charles is portrayed as someone 'fond' of Diana but not really in love with her. Hardly the stuff of fairy tales.

No biography of Charles would be complete without covering his relationships with his married friends. Camilla Parker Bowles in particular enjoys 'looking after' him (his quotes, not mine) and states that Diana would 'never come to resent' Charles' friendship with her. In retrospect it was a naive statement to make.

The last chapter recaps the women he dated or was linked to. Including those who introduced him to 'the delights of the bedroom' , the flings with suitable aristocrats, unsuitable worldly blonde's, and the smart women who turned him down. Looking back, with all of the warning signs, it's a shame Diana wasn't one of them.

© Marilyn Braun 2012

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

Charles and Camilla's Canadian Royal Tour - Day 10 & 11

On day 10 in Canada Charles and Camilla arrived at the National War Memorial for Remembrance Day in Ottawa. The couple attended the ceremony, along with the Prime Minister and Governor General to take part in a ceremony to 'remember and honour the more than 1,500,000 Canadian men and women who have served, and continue to serve, their country during times of war, conflict and peace.' Afterwards they headed to CFB Petawawa where they visited soldiers and their families.

Later on in the evening they attended a reception and dinner hosted by Their Excellencies at Rideau Hall.

The next day they planted an red oak sapling in the grounds of Rideau Hall as a commemoration of their visit. After an 11 day tour with stops in St. John's, Toronto, Victoria, Vancouver, Montreal and Ottawa which included partaking in 55 events they departed for England.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

Charles and Camilla's Canadian Royal Tour - Day 9

Charles and Camilla arrived back in Ontario, visiting Ottawa - the capital of Canada. They began their day visiting the Queen's representative, Her Excellency the Right Honourable Michaëlle Jean, Governor General of Canada and His Excellency Jean-Daniel Lafond. They stayed on the grounds of Rideau Hall, the Governor General's residence and the usual place for them to stay when in Ottawa.

Later on the couple met with Prime Minister Stephen Harper and his wife Laureen. As 'Four Canadian Rangers stood guard in their trademark red sweaters' the two couples chatted. The PM handed the Prince two Ranger caps and sweaters for his sons, declaring them honorary members. The Prince chuckled and said 'I hope they fit' to which Mrs Harper replied 'One size fits all.'

Now, is that before or after they're washed? Oh nevermind..

The prince later met Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff, who in a 1992 article in the Montreal Gazette had written "Now is the time for the republican tradition in Britain to find its voice again". On this visit he voiced no such sentiment to Prince Charles' face. Maybe he realized that this is one of those inside your head thoughts.

Charles and Camilla then departed for Montréal, Quebec where they met with the Premier of Québec, the Honourable Jean Charest and Mme Michèle Dionne, where they received an Inuit sculpture and a collection of Quebec DVDs.

But were they in Region 2 format? Oh, nevermind...

Afterwards they toured the headquarters of the Cirque du Soleil, watching a brief acrobatic performance and touring the workshops where costumes and props are made.

Charles later received a dramatic welcome when he visited the headquarters of the Black Watch (Royal Highland Regiment) of Canada - a regiment he inherited as colonel-in-chief after the death of the Queen Mother. The riot squad was busy with 200 egg hurtling demonstrators (or 150 depending on who's counting...) 'brandishing signs with slogans such as Down With the Monarchy'...'Ottawa Leave Quebec, and Cultural Genocide, R.I.P.' and "Majesty Go Home!"

Psst - Maybe it's a bit premature to bring that sign out.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

Charles and Camilla's Royal Tour - Day 7 & 8

On Day 7 - Sunday - instead of resting, they attended a remembrance service at Christ Church Cathedral. While there they dedicated a stained glass window 'commemorating the 80th anniversary of the consecration of the cathedral and the 150th anniversary of the Diocese of British Columbia'. Shortly before they went inside they mingled with the 200 people who'd waited outside of the Church for them. Then the couple spent the rest of their Sunday privately.

On Monday (Day 8) it was back to work for them as they participated in a ceremony 'honouring the 100th anniversary of the Canadian Navy, which occurs 2010, at CFB Esquimalt'. Charles, dressed for the occasion in a Canadian Naval uniform in his capacity as honorary vice-admiral. During the visit, to mark his 32 years of honorary service, Charles received a 'second clasp' to his Canadian Forces decoration. 'Prince Charles said he wears his Canadian medal “with great pride all the time,” and was “touched, flattered, honoured” to receive the complementing clasp.'

No comment from the non-honorary people who are working towards earning their medals.

This was their last stop in Victoria before leaving for Ottawa.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

Charles and Camilla's Canadian Royal Tour - Day 6

Day 6 was a Saturday. You'd think that Charles and Camilla would get the day off but no such luck. I can only imagine the jet lag and having to deal with the difference in provincial time zones on top of it - must wreak havoc on their systems. Having said that, the Queen still does tours at the ripe age of 83, so Charles and Camilla probably dare not complain.

On this day the couple had a walkabout in Vancouver Olympic and Paralympic Village, posed with a Sasquatch and Olympic mascots and yet again unveiled a plaque. Even if most Canadians aren't paying attention, future generations will know about their tour by following the commemorative plaques they leave in their wake.

Unlike in previous public appearances, Camilla wore a colorful outfit - a lightweight powder blue coat - which turned out to be completely inadequate for the cold rainy weather. She planted a tree at the Van Dusen Botanical Gardens and brought with her a collection of seeds from native British Columbian plants that were housed in the Millennium Seed Bank at the Royal Botanical Garden Kew. In return, Van Dusen Gardens gave the duchess a collection of different seeds to bring back to the seed bank.

But the seeds are not the only thing they will bring back with them as they also received traditional aboriginal blankets and talking sticks. Also some red mittens, scarves, gumboots and custom raincoats - which would have been useful to receive earlier in the day.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

Charles and Camilla's Canadian Royal Tour - Day 5

Charles and Camilla began their day at 'The Royal' arriving in a horse drawn open carriage. "Nothing could give me greater pleasure than to declare the 87th Royal Agricultural Winter Fair officially open," the prince said to a crowd of 'thousands'. Camilla was presented with a leather western style horse saddle while the Prince received a basket of maple syrup and honey - which he can compare to his own Duchy Originals brand.

The couple toured the fair, presenting championship ribbons to delighted young teen winners of the Queen's Guineas beef cattle competition. Then Charles was off to surprise people in the cattle barn while Camilla toured the kennels and visited fair kiosks to do some shopping for her grandchildren. In a woman of the people move Camilla paid for her purchases with money from her purse. Yes, some of the royals do indeed carry money!

The couple then jetted off to Victoria, British Columbia for yet another official welcoming ceremony.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

Question: Charles and Camilla's poppies

I have noticed in many pictures of Charles and Camilla that they are both wearing two poppies. Is this a royal thing? Does it mean something special?

Since Charles and Camilla first arrived in Canada on most public appearances they have worn two poppies. This has been the subject of a great deal of curiosity. Why the two poppies? What does it mean?

The two poppies that the couple are wearing are the British paper version and the Canadian one. The design of the Canadian poppy consists of petals made of red plastic with a felt lining and black centre held on by a pin. The British paper version is sold by the Royal British Legion through their annual Poppy Appeal. Some have suggested that by wearing the two poppies they are making a symbolic gesture of support for British and Canadian veterans.

Poppies became a symbol of Rememberance after the poem In Flanders Field commemorated the flower. It was written in 1915 by a Canadian doctor named John McCrae after he witnessed the death of a friend. During the funeral McCrae noticed wild poppies blooming between the graves and this inspired his famous poem. After its publication it became the most popular poem of the First World War. In part because of its popularity, the poppy was adopted as the Flower of Remembrance for the war dead of Britain, France, the United States, Canada and other Commonwealth countries.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

The Royal Report for Sunday November 8, 2009 - The Canadian Royal Tour

Upon arrival in Canada, which royal called Canada 'truly deplorable'? Who was the first female member of the royal family to visit? Was the price tag still on Prince Phillip's jeans when he took part in a square dance in Canada?

Listen to this episode to find out.

Publications mentioned

Hello! Canada Weekly No 149 9 November 2009

Website and Blog mentioned

World of Royalty
World of Royalty Blog
The Official Site of the Prince of Wales

Documentaries discussed

Charles - The Passionate Prince - Viewable online

Prince William and Prince Harry: Into the future

Resources used

Canada's Queen by Patti Tasko

The Queen's Tour of Canada Souvenir Edition by Trevor Hall

Fifty Years the Queen Arthur Bousfield & Garry Toffoli

Charles and Diana visit Canada by David Levenson and Trevor Hall

Royal Canada - A History of Royal visits since 1786 - by Trevor Hall

Queen Elizabeth II and the Royal Family in Canada (Golden Jubilee) - Stewart House Publishing

Tune in live to the next episode of The Royal Report on Sunday November 15th, 2009 9:00PM EST.

The topic will be: In honor of the Prince of Wales & the Duchess of Cornwall's visit to Canada, a look back at Canadian Royal Tours - Part Two!

© Marilyn Braun 2009

Charles and Camilla's Canadian Royal Tour - Day 3 Continued

Charles and Camilla arrive in Toronto! (AKA the centre of the Canadian universe).

The couple, who flew in from Newfoundland and no doubt exhausted from the tree planting and the touring archeological digs, looked alert as they arrived at Pearson International Airport. Upon arrival they had a private meeting with local and provincial dignitaries. Doesn't Camilla look excited!

Later on in the afternoon the couple then went their separate ways with Charles going off to attend a conference which nobody paid attention to. Meanwhile, in another part of the city, Camilla was touring the Royal Conservatory of Music. Shortly before she left, she paused to read a plaque commemorating a 1901 visit from another Duke and Duchess of Cornwall - the future King George V and Queen Mary. Whoever originally put the plaque up can now feel vindicated that there are people who still stop read it.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

Charles and Camilla's Canadian Royal Tour - Day 3

Camilla isn't the only person on the tour making a fashion statement. On day 3 of the tour the couple were greeted by Newfoundland and Labrador's Lieutenant-Governor John Crosbie who wore a sealskin coat; characterized as a "statement" in support of the annual seal kill. John Crosbie's 'sartorial' choice drew ire from animal rights activists who were still frothed up about Camilla's rabbit fur scarf. Like PETA, Mr Crosbie knows something about promoting his own cause.

Now where was I? Oh yes, Charles and Camilla!

During their visit to Government-House the couple planted a pair of oak trees. A tradition dating back to the 1939 royal visit when King George VI and Queen Elizabeth (the future Queen Mother) did the same.

The couple also visited the St. John's War Memorial where Prince Charles laid a wreath at a ceremony to remember Newfoundland and Labrador's war dead. At the ceremony seven year old Matthew Lucas, whose father died in Afghanistan, put his arms around Camilla's neck and kissed her.

See Camilla, contrary to what the media have reported, there are people who care about your visit.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

Charles and Camilla's Canadian Royal Tour - Day 2

Day 2 of Charles and Camilla's Royal Tour began with a visit to Cupids Bay, Newfoundland; a name which conjures up images of making-out (*Shudder*). A 'noticibly thin' crowd of about 75 (or 57 depending on which reporter is counting) enthusiastically welcomed them.

Cupids Bay is the birthplace of the English prescence in Canada. Originally settled in 1610 it was rediscovered in the 1990's. During their tour an archeologist showed them a coin unearthed from the dig site while Premier Danny Williams and The Prime Minister - speechless - looked on.

On this day of the tour Camilla 'earned the wrath' of animal rights activists by keeping herself warm with a rabbit fur stole, topping off her stylish green tweed outfit with a hat that had a fake fur trim. Ignoring the hat, PETA used the opportunity to state: 'the Duchess is out of step with public opinion.' Geez, if Camilla tried to please the public, PETA wouldn't have her to criticize now would they? No use starting now! Camilla can take heart that pro-hunt Canadians whole heartedly 'approved' of her choice.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

Charles and Camilla's Canadian Royal Tour - Day 1

Charles and Camilla arrived on Canadian soil on Monday November 2nd in St. John's, Newfoundland. Where a 'large crowd, including dignitaries and the RCMP' welcomed them. They were greeted by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Governor General Michaelle Jean and St. John's and Labrador Premier Danny Williams.

The couple walked the red carpet and attended a 'moving' one hour ceremony in a half filled arena. During which the Prime Minister 'plagiarized' one of Charles' earlier speeches which has been seen as a 'massive screw-up' on the part of Harper's office.

We can only hope Charles and Camilla's tour will recover from this bad omen.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

Charles and Camilla's Canadian Royal Tour Coverage

Well, Charles and Camilla have arrived in Canada and by the lack of coverage and enthusiasm you'd think they'd made a one hour stop over on their way to a warmer climate. Maybe we take the royals for granted, they're on our currency so seeing them in person is no big deal.

This visit, Charles 15th and Camilla's first, should receive more coverage, because it should have the curiosity factor - 'ah, that's what the third person in Diana's marriage looks like.' So far it hasn't but it doesn't hurt Charles. Let's be honest, Charles is not the drawing card he once was. And during his first visit in 1970 he had his parents and sister with him to guarantee people would come out. With the exception of the Queen, Charles on tour works better as a double-act. Bring someone attactive or higher ranking with him and he can't lose. Arrive by himself and, well who really cares, right? The minor royals suffer this indignity all of the time. Edward and Sophie were in our midst in June and had Hello! Canada not shown photos I wouldn't have been any the wiser. It's that bad.

So I'm taking control of this deplorable state of affairs and doing my own coverage. Or as much as I can do without actually accompanying them on tour. Forgive me for being a few days behind - they're already on Day 3! But I shall try to make up for it.

Stay tuned!

© Marilyn Braun 2009

The sad day Camilla pandered to you

I'm mad.

I don't remember the last time I was this disappointed. I've just found out that Camilla is not attending the Diana Memorial service on Friday. And I just want to say to all of the people who were against her attending.

Are YOU happy now?

This is an article from CNN. According to Clarence House, Camilla has decided not to attend because it 'could divert attention from the purpose of the occasion'.
But who was accusing her of doing so? Princes William and Harry wanted Camilla to attend, they invited her. Shouldn't that have been good enough? No, obviously it wasn't. If William and Harry can live in the present, forgive Camilla and their father, why can't we?

Maybe you feel that you're defending Diana's memory. By your complaints, you actually did the opposite. In all the time spent making this a controversial issue, you ignored Diana's memory completely. Was it ever about that for you? Or was it just an excuse to channel your negativity?

I don't know who I'm more disappointed in. You or Camilla. She pandered to you. Gave in to your tantrum. Now what are you going to do? Are you going to remember Diana or are you going to savour your victory? Probably the latter. To quote one reveller, and hard-core Diana fan: "I couldn't be happier if I’d won the lottery." Enough said.

Camilla should have gone. There, I've said it. I don't live in the past. If Camilla wanted to honor Diana's memory, she was perfectly entitled to do so. Especially when Princes William and Harry personally invited her. That's what should have been important. Or are you forgetting that? Diana was their mother. They're planning the service. Not YOU.

But articles have called William and Harry naive. They can't possibly understand the problems Camilla caused their mother. That they had only invited Camilla, according to James Whittaker, because "she is the wife of their father, whom they adore." But who is blaming them for their lack of judgement in this matter? YOU are. Diana would be thrilled.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Okay, people didn't want her to go. Fair enough. But who ultimately threatened to make this about something other than Diana?

YOU did.

I hope you're proud of yourselves.

© Marilyn Braun 2007

Should Camilla attend the Diana memorial?

Maybe asking this question falls under the category of a lost cause. After all, according to a recent poll 54% say that Camilla should not attend the Diana memorial. If you ask women - 61% think she should not attend, that it would be completely innapropriate. How can you ask such a question in the face of such overwhelming opposition?

Yes, it should be a no-brainer. Camilla, stay home! Don't come out of the palace until we approve of you. When you married Prince Charles, you obviously snuck under our radar. Well, you're married now, so we can't do anything about it. The cheers when you arrived drowned out our hisses and boos. Even if 39% of people feel that you've strengthened the monarchy by marrying Charles. Notice that 37% feel that you've weakened it - so don't get too comfortable. We're recruiting the 25% 'Don't know' contingent as we speak. They'll come to their senses and agree with us, eventually.

Our negative attitude towards out should rightly become a 'string which will alarm supporters.' This should keep you from the Diana memorial, and becoming Queen, even if it doesn't impact our lives in any way whether you do or not. We can complain when you wear the family jewels; zoom in on photographs comparing it to ones Diana wore. We may not barricade the street the service will be held on, but we can participate in polls which have no real relevance to reality. Polls which still ask questions like 'When the Queen abdicates...should the throne pass to Prince Charles or Prince William?' Are we part of the 71% of people who buy into that lost cause?

Even if you do end up attending, make sure you wear a suitably morose, remorseful expression. Whatever you do, don't smile or wave at the crowds. Remember, this isn't your show. If we're lucky, the service will be televised and we can keep tabs on you during the hymns. When the phone rings with a new poll asking us how you behaved, you may just improve your results if you shed a tear or two.

If you don't attend, we'll probably hold it against you too. How can you show us penitence hiding in your palace? Clearly this is a no-win situation for you. But whatever you do, don't wait for us to make up our minds. Trust us, even if our opinions about you change like the weather. Even if the poll caught us during a particularly anti-Camilla mood. Who knows how we'll feel tomorrow. On our way to the service we'll stop at the supermarket and buy eggs to throw at you. If she knew her memory was being hijacked by our antics, Diana would be proud of us.

Maybe the question shouldn't be whether you should attend, but whether this question has made us lose sight of that point.

© Marilyn Braun 2007

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Like royal books? Visit Marilyn's Royal Bookstore!
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The Camilla Non-issue

It's almost predictable.At every major royal event, you could set your watch by it.

In the absence of any real news, the subject of Camilla is bound to come up. Camilla can't possibly have a 60th birthday without the issue of what her title will be once Charles becomes king. The upcoming Diana memorial needs an injection of Camilla in order to gain some type of momentum. Will she attend? Won't she attend? According to the media, Camilla is terrified and she should feel guilty about Diana. One thing is clear, if she attends or doesn't attend, the media won't let her win either way.

So far Prince Harry wisely defused the Camilla issue by stating that she's wonderful. Prince William has been seen kissing her and greeting her warmly. He also deftly announced that the older guard had been banned from attending the Concert for Diana - thus ending the issue of where to seat Charles, Camilla and the Queen, but inadvertently focusing us on Kate Middleton instead. The Queen has been seen smiling at Camilla and loaning her priceless jewels. Everyone of importance seems to like Camilla, why can't we let it drop?

While we can't change what the media will do, let's take a look at the cold, hard reality of these supposed Camilla issues:

Camilla's present title and her future title when Charles becomes king

This is the most popular non-issue for royal watchers. No doubt we will hear about this for some time and no amount of official clarification will change that. Camilla's present title is H.R.H. The Duchess of Cornwall. Yes, legally she is Princess of Wales but she has chosen to be known as Duchess of Cornwall instead. A wise move to appease people who choose to live in the past. But had she chosen to take the title, so what? The title of Princess of Wales did not die with Diana. If this were the case, the title should have died with one of the 8 women who held it before her.

When Charles becomes King, she's chosen to be known as H.R.H. The Princess Consort. Yes, once again, for traditionalists she will be Queen. But she doesn't want to be called that. It may be hard for us to accept, but that's our problem now isn't it?

The marriage of Charles, Diana and Camilla.

Yes, there were three people in the marriage of Charles and Diana. Regardless of when the affair started, whether it never ended, Camilla was the third person and we can't change that. Hasn't she been raked over the coals long enough?

Camilla and the family jewels

Yes, Camilla is starting to wear the family jewels. And why shouldn't she? She would look a tad under dressed at State Dinners otherwise. People look to this as a sign of acceptance, when it's a non-issue. Someone should wear them. Why should these jewels languish in the vaults to appease us?

Camilla's life as a royal.

Camilla is doing well in her new role and Charles looks happy, truly happy, for once in his life. We know very little about Camilla as a person, so how could we have predicted, one way or the other, how she would cope as a royal? She may not have the same glamour as Diana but there's no point comparing them. Let's give Camilla a chance to make her own mark as a royal.

The death of Diana

Diana is dead. Last time I checked, she is still dead. Charles and Camilla, and the rest of the royal family are not responsible for her death. There's no point in trying to make Charles and Camilla feel guilty or assign blame to anyone. Time to move on.

The discussion of these non-issues have become a sport akin to the non-issue of whether Charles should become king. Ultimately, can we really blame royal commentators for using these subjects to fill time during their coverage of royal events? Not really. There's more mileage in speculation than in the truth. We definitely haven't heard the last of these non-issues.

So when the next big royal event happens, set your watch.

© Marilyn Braun 2007

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Like royal books? Visit Marilyn's Royal Bookstore!
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Operation Queen Camilla

Public opinion indicates that 90% of the populace do not want Camilla to become Queen. This operation is highly risky. The public can be quite fickle and Diana sentiment is still strong. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to make Camilla Queen. Should you get caught, we will disavow your actions. You may dispose of this tape in the usual manner. Or this tape will self-destruct in five seconds. *Pooof*[Tape disappears in a cloud of smoke]

Location: A palace somewhere in London.

The Queen, Prince Philip and Prince Charles sit at the table and open their dossiers. They pull out 8 x 10 autographed glossies of Ingrid Seward, Matt Lauer, Ferne Cotton, and James Whittaker.

Prince Charles: I want to see Camilla be crowned Queen beside me.

The Queen: I think it's too soon to discuss Queen Camilla. Look at all the time it took for her to be accepted as your companion and then your wife. We need to take this slow, launch a careful media campaign. At minimum get James Whittaker on board.

Prince Charles: That ghastly man!

Prince Philip: Don't you think we should test the waters? start with Princess of Wales and see how that goes?

Prince Charles: Both of you are always against me. Don't you understand. I love her and I want to make her my queen.

The Queen: Charles, don't play the 'blame your parents card'. We're getting off topic here. Where's Prince Harry? Shouldn't he be in on this meeting?

The group look up to see Prince Harry, suspended by a cable, dropping from the ceiling. He stops and hovers just above the table.

Prince Philip: Glad you could finally make it.

Prince Harry: Is there something I can help with?

The Queen: Yes Harry, we need you to go out and distract people. Get into a fight with someone. Break up with Chelsy..or something like that.

Prince Harry: The things I do for England!

The Queen: That will be all Harry.

Prince Harry tries to retract the cable but gets stuck.

Prince Harry: Can someone help me down from here?

Later on, at another palace in London Prince Philip, Prince William, and Prince Harry meet to finalize plans.

Prince Philip: You must infiltrate the offices of Majesty magazine. Ingrid Seward writes a monthly column, which this month will be anti-Queen Camilla. Make sure you edit it put a positive spin. Here is the equipment you will need for your mission: Commemorative china, your Coronation medals and a trained monkey. Prince Harry, make sure to bring Chelsy's watch, women like it when you wear their gifts.

Prince William and Prince Harry gather up their equipment.

Prince Philip (with a tear in his eye): Good luck boys.

To be Continued.

© Marilyn Braun 2007

Camilla's Humanity

Charles and Camilla recently toured a Sikh temple where they watched a traditional martial arts sword demonstration. During part of this display, Camilla covered her eyes when a blindfolded swordsman sliced a watermelon in half on another man's stomach. No doubt a fairly routine engagement for the world-weary Prince, but for the Duchess it was a new experience.

With ancestors who led troops into bloody battles, it's not surprising to see Prince Charles unfazed. He's not alone: the Queen, Prince Philip, Princess Anne, are practiced in the art of the 'stiff upper lip' whatever the occassion. When Diana died, the royal family experienced some grief over this lack of emotion. So it's a wonder that Camilla, covering her eyes and instinctively flinching, is the focus of attention for..well..being human.

Unfortunately, this quality will go by the wayside once Camilla becomes more royal. She will learn how not to betray her feelings, even in the most dire of circumstances: Queen Victoria survived several assasination attempts, Princess Anne was brave during a kidnapping attempt in 1974. In 1981 the present Queen, most famously during the Trooping the Color when six blank shots were fired at her. In 1982, when Michael Fagan broke into the palace and found the Queen in her bedroom, we were told that the Queen was calm until help arrived. In these instances, the royal family has been lauded for their bravery. How could Camilla recoil from a mere sword?

With headlines that included 'Camilla's hide and Sikh', 'Scaredy-Cat Camilla Covers Her Eyes', 'Duchess of Cornwall Shook by Sikh Swordsman', and 'Charles and Camilla make hair-raising visit to Sikh temple', she paid for it the next day. Well, she can be forgiven for still being on the learning curve. But eventually Camilla will learn to sit impassively through these types of demonstrations, politely applauding afterwards. She will be capable of making small talk with terminally ill patients and in the same day look suitably concerned while visiting the aftermath of devastation and tragedy.

So, trembling with nerves on her wedding day, nervously waving to the crowds and press during the US tour, recoiling from swords....

Enjoy it while it lasts.

© Marilyn Braun 2006

Camilla The Good

In the best tradition of women in the British monarchy, Camilla is a class act.

You may dispute that but it's true.

Putting aside all that has happened in the past relating to Diana, Camilla is an asset to the monarchy, just as much as the Queen and the Queen Mother.

Why?

Because she knows how to keep her mouth shut.

Unlike Diana, Camilla has maintained a respectful silence. In 30 years she's had more than enough provocation to defend herself, yet she never has. What little we do know of her is from Diana's point of view. We don't know the other side of the story, and maybe we never will.

You may argue, but the evidence suggests that royal class is equated with silence, with going about duty without complaint, earning their keep. The Duchess of Gloucester, the Duchess of Kent, Princess Alexandra, we can't help but see dedication there. No comment can be made when no information is given. We can speculate all we like. Queen Alexandra, Queen Mary and even Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, all class acts, who did not complain about their lot. Who understood duty. Of course we looked at royals with far more deference then, there wasn't the same amout of media interest, no papparazzi to invade their privacy. If they had lived in today's day and age, would there be the same respect?

Princess Michael, although stylish and elegant, is not regarded as a class act. Why? because she talks to the media, writes books and in general sells her wares. It also doesn't help that she makes honest and occassionally unkind remarks about other royals. We don't seem to like royals who have opinions, just look at Prince Charles and his diaries. However, you just can't help but get the feeling that Princess Michael, unrepentant, enjoys all of the attention.

The Queen is respected, mainly because she personifies duty, never having put a foot wrong in all of the years on the throne. Sure, she didn't respond to Diana's death the way we would have liked her to, but she was only doing what she had been trained to do. In 80 years, how much do we really know about the Queen? How much should we know? The Queen does not owe us a public confession. Neither does Camilla.

It's interesting to note that the Queen, her father, grandfather, grandmother and so on, never gave an interview. The Queen Mother was an exception. In 1923, just after her engagement, she gave a brief interview to a newspaper. King George V, her future father-in-law, disapproved and she never made the mistake again. Charles and Diana, Andrew and Sarah, and Edward and Sophie, may have given engagement and pre-wedding interviews, but not Charles and Camilla. Maybe Charles was trying to avoid saying something that would haunt him later. Smart move on Charles' part.

Nowadays we expect our public figures to give us sound bites. After all, we can't live on official photos alone. And slow on the uptake, the royal family is becoming increasingly media savvy. But as Camilla seems to have observed, sometimes it's sensible to keep things to oneself. She may have learnt, to quote part of an old proverb, 'Speech is silver and silence is golden'.

© Marilyn Braun 2006