The Royal Report for Sunday November 30th, 2008 - Can Prince William keep his private life private?

On this episode I discussed Prince William's private life. Can he keep his private life private? Or is he being naive?

You can listen to the episode here

Publications mentioned

Hello! Canada Weekly No. 108 December 8 2008

Links mentioned

Matt Lauer Interview with Prince William and Prince Harry

Fern Cotton interviews Prince William and Prince Harry Part 1

Fern Cotton interviews Prince William and Prince Harry - Part 2

Tune in to the next Royal Report on Sunday December 7th, 2008 9:00PM EST (North America) The topic will be: A review of the royal residence websites. From Buckingham Palace to Sandringham Estate. I'll tell you where to go and how to get there.

© Marilyn Braun 2008

The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 13

On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless Kate had been kidnapped by a militant group of Kate-haters called Kate-Haters R Us. While they were distracted Enrique agreed to rescue Kate after being given full credit and his own office. Kate is now back at work but tired from her ordeal, falls asleep at her desk. In her dreams it is now 2062. William and Kate, both 80 years old, are still dating; which has broken the record for the longest royal courtship in history. She is at her desk, bent over, still trying to figure out how to use a stapler. Kate, her hair still inexplicably brown and glossy, receives a phone call on whatever technology exists at that time.

William: Hello darling

Kate: What? Who is this?

William: It's William

Kate: Who?

William shouts down the line: It's WILLIAM. Remember, your boyfriend?

Kate: Oh yes, that's right. What do you want?

William: Well, Granny is having a party to celebrate her 136th birthday and I'd like you to come with me.

Kate: Another birthday? She's really getting up there isn't she?

William: Papa says that all the time

Kate: I thought he was cryogenically frozen?

William: We've unthawed him for this event. He looks very good, not a day over 100.

Kate: I don't know William, I'll have to check my calendar.

William: Hello! will be there..

Kate: Who?

William: I SAID HELLO! WILL BE THERE

Kate: Yes, hello, who are you?

William: (*Sigh*) As your boyfriend and future sovereign I demand that you do my bidding..

Kate: Oh put a sock in it!

William: What?

Kate: PUT A SOCK IN IT! You've kept me waiting long enough!

William: Well I guess I'll have to find someone else to take to the party then..There are lots of women who want to go out with me...

Kate: Who? Everyone you've ever dated is dead. All of our friends are dead. We're the only ones left.

William: Harry and Chelsy will be able to set me up with someone.

Kate: How long have they been married anyways?

William: 52 years

Kate: Why couldn't that have been us?

William: What?

Kate: I SAID WHY COULDN'T THAT HAVE BEEN US?

William: I can't hear you. What are you saying?

Kate: Why haven't you married me?

William: Well, I've been so busy. What with the flying, royal duties, dancing with blonde's in bars..

Kate: Excuses, excuses

William: Are you coming with me or not? I can be at your backyard in half an hour.

Kate: I can't do this anymore

William: You can't do what anymore?

Kate: I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore...

Kate wakes up at her desk. Enrique, intense and smouldering yet professionally dressed, stands over her.

Kate: (Wipes drool from the side of her mouth. There is an imprint of a stapler on the side of her face) What's going on?

Enrique: You were having a nightmare. You kept saying you can't do this anymore. Over and over.

Kate: (Confused) No, I meant I can't fall asleep at my desk any more..

Will Enrique believe Kate's lame excuse? Will Kate continue doing what she's going? Tune in to the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2008

The Royal Report for Sunday November 23rd, 2008 - A Salute to Prince Charles at 60

On this episode I saluted Prince Charles, discussed the infamous Cherry-Brandy incident, Camilla-gate, my feet, and some revealing photographs Prince William.

You can download the podcast here.

Publications mentioned:

Hello! Canada No 107 December 1 2008

People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive! Issue

The Prince of Wales - A biography by Jonathan Dimbleby

Websites mentioned

The Official Site for the Prince of Wales

Royal Insight - Test your knowledge of the Prince of Wales

Interesting links

The Queen in Flares - Judge for Yourself. Is this her?

Anyone with a picture of Kate's feet send it to... (Note I was having an off foot day when I took this photo. And it was supposed to be a joke)

Tune in to the next Royal Report on Sunday November 30th, 2008 9:00PM EST (North America)

The topic will be: Prince William was once asked in an interview about his private life and he replied that his private life was between him and himself. Is this realistic?

© Marilyn Braun 2008

Question: Queen Victoria's Wedding Dress and Bouquet

Could you tell me more about Queen Victoria's wedding dress and bouquet?

Thank you very much for your question.

On her wedding day Queen Victoria wore a shoulder-free white satin court dress. The bodice had a low, round neck and edging the neckline were narrow rows of piping and the short, full sleeves gathered into double puffs. The fullness of the skirt was taken in at the waist in a series of deep forward-facing pleats. The skirt had a deep panel of Honiton lace at the front, chosen by Victoria to support the declining lace trade. A court train, made of the same silk satin, measured 6 years in length and had a border of orange blossom sprays matching the coronet of orange blossoms from which her veil was suspended. The choice of orange blossom is significant and somewhat prophetic. In the Mediterranean, it was a symbol of fertility; Queen Victoria would later have nine children. In China it was an emblem of purity, innocence, and chastity; bywords for the Victorian era.

Queen Victoria wanted her entire ensemble to be made of materials of British manufacture. Probably the most well known aspect of her dress is the honiton lace used for her veil and for the flounce. The design of the lace is attributed to Wiliam Dyce and a colleague at the Government School of Design in London. It took more than one hundred lace makers six months to make the exquisite lace and the pattern was destroyed so that it could never be copied. Of her five daughters only her youngest, Princess Beatrice, would get to wear it on her wedding day in 1885. The veil was amongst Queen Victoria's most prized possessions and she would eventually be buried with it.

Because her gown and veil were all in white, she is credited with helping to establish a custom of wearing white, which continues to this day. Previously royal brides had worn gold and silver colors in order to express their wealth. Commoners often wore dark colors in order to use their gowns for other special days. It is said that the simplicity of her dress would set a pattern for other royal wedding dresses - although looking at some of the wedding dresses that followed, I would disagree with that. Many royal wedding dresses have been quite elaborate with beautiful embroidery - hardly simple at all. If anything it would be 120 years later that simplicity would return with Princess Margaret's dress in 1960.

As for her bouquet, Queen Victoria carried a small posy made up solely of snowdrops (Prince Albert's favorite flower). It's somewhat unfortunate but I can only find one source for this information. In reference to bridal bouquets, there is a royal wedding tradition of brides including a sprig of myrtle in their bouquets. This bush was grown from a cutting brought from Coburg by Prince Albert. Sprigs have been included in the bouquets of all royal brides since the 1850s.

© Marilyn Braun 2008

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

Sources:

Royal Wedding Dresses by Nigel Arch and Joanna Marschner. A Historic Royal Palaces publication.

Royal Weddings by Friederike Haedecke and Julia Melchior

Legendary Brides by Letita Baldrige

I Do: 100 Years of Wedding Fashion by Caroline Cox
Britain's Royal Brides by Josy Argy and Wendy Riches

Five Gold Rings - A Royal Wedding Souvenir Album - by Jane Roberts for Royal Collection Publications

Two Centuries of Royal Weddings by Christopher Warwick

Related Articles

Royal Weddings
Royal Wedding Dresses
Question: Princess Diana's Wedding Bouquet

© Marilyn Braun 2008

The Royal Report for Sunday November 16th, 2008 - Is the monarchy in safe hands?

On this episode I discussed the future of the monarchy once the Queen dies. Is the monarchy in safe hands with Prince Charles, Prince Harry, Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie?

You can listen to the podcast here.

Publications mentioned:

Hello! Canada Weekly no. 106 November 24, 2008

Patronages

Prince William's Charities & Patronages

Prince Harry's Charities & Patronages

Information on Princess Beatrice's and Princess Eugenie's ITV Orphanage Report

Blogs mentioned:

Royal Truth

Tune in to the next Royal Report on Sunday November 23rd, 2008. It will be live at 9:00PM EST (North America)

The topic will be: A Salute to Prince Charles

© Marilyn Braun 2008

The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 12

On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless, after Kate dropped off The co-worker a few cubicles over who calls himself Enrique (Or TCWAFCOWCHE for short) at an undisclosed location Kate was caught with a cell phone in her hand whilst sitting in the drivers seat of a car. Kate was brought in for questioning and was grilled by Good Cop and Bad Cop. After being released without any charges being laid, Kate was subsequently kidnapped by a militant group known as Kate-Haters R Us, and taken to an undisclosed location not far from where TCWAFCOWCHE was dropped off. Presently Kate, hands tied behind her back and hooded is led into a sparse room. One of the kidnappers takes the hood off Kate and unties her hands. Kate shakes out her glossy hair and looks around a dingy basement apartment filled with IKEA furniture.

Kate: (Recoiling from the surroundings) Where am I?

Kate-Hater #1: We can't tell you that

Kate: Why am I here? What are you planning to do with me?

Kate-Hater #2: Well..we haven't decided yet..

Kate: You're a disorganized lot aren't you? Don't you think that people are going to miss me? What are people going to discuss on message boards now? Who are they going to Kate-bash? What will Hello! do without me on their cover?

Kate-Hater #1: Good point. I never thought of that. What are we..err..people on message boards supposed to do now?

Kate-Hater #2: There has to be someone else?

Kate-Hater #1: Chelsy?

Kate-Hater #2: I rather like Chelsy

Kate_Hater #1: Me too. Unlike Kate here she isn't waiting around. She's independent.

Kate-Hater #2: So therefore we can't bash Chelsy. Who else is there? Beatrice? Zara? Eugenie?

Kate-Hater #1: They're rather boring. I mean, what has Zara done other than get her tongue pierced?

Kate-Hater #2: Yes, a rather desperate move on her part. So no Chelsy, Beatrice, Zara or Eugenie. Sad state of affairs then.

Kate-Hater #1: Quite.

While the Kate-haters are discussing their options TCWAFCOWCHE quietly creeps into the house hoping to use the phone to call for help.

Kate: (Whispering to Enrique) Oh Enrique! I'm so happy to see you!

Enrique: You are?

Kate: Are you here to rescue me?

Enrique: No, why should I? You dropped me off at an undisclosed location in the middle of nowhere..

Kate: That was in the past. I need your help.

Enrique: (To Marilyn, as she writes this episode) Are you kidding me? You write me out of these episodes, and mysteriously get rid of me.

Marilyn, as she writes this episode: But I did leave your return open. Anyways, Kate needs your help and your presence makes you look like a hero.

Enrique: OK. So what's in it for me?

Marilyn, as she writes this episode: What do you want?

Enrique: Credit, creative consultation and my own office. I don't like the cubicle.

Marilyn, as she writes this episode: Done. Now can we get back to the story line? This episode is getting too long.

Enrique gives Kate a smouldering look. He now wears a white unbuttoned dress shirt that shows off his trim, muscular physique. His hair blows in the wind from an unexplained source. His voice has suddenly become deeper with a Clint Eastwood type tone.

Enrique: (To Kate, seductively) Take my hand and let's go..

Will Enrique actually get his own office?...

Enrique: (To Marilyn as she writes this episode) You'd better.

Marilyn, as she writes this episode: Sorry. Where was I?

Will the two Kate-haters ever notice that she's gone? What will royal watchers do without Kate? Find out on the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2008

The Royal Report for Sunday November 9th, 2008 - More Royal Blogs!!

The Royal Report has a new home!! www.blogtalkradio.com/royalreport

On this episode I discussed some more fantastic royal blogs. You can listen to the podcast here: More Royal Blogs!!

Publications mentioned:

Hello! Canada Weekly No # 104 November 10, 2008

Royal Blogs mentioned:

The Merry Royals
Princess Eugenie
Royal Anecdotes
Ana Maria's Royal Perspective
The Royalist
The Raucous Royals
Monarchico
Royal Video
World of Royalty Blog

Tune in to the next Royal Report on Sunday November 16th, 2008. It will be live at 7:30 AM EST (The timeslot will change but for now it's in the morning).It will be available for download afterwards.

The topic will be: When the Queen goes to that great palace in the sky, is the monarchy in safe hands? Should we be worried?

© Marilyn Braun 2008

Where did The Royal Report go?

© Marilyn Braun 2008

Royal News Generator

Recently we've had a slow news week. It happens at the best of times. The royals can't be interesting all the time and I'm sure that they relish the break from our unrelenting scrutiny. In the interim, while we're waiting for them to do something, I've decided to come up with a trusty royal news generator to create your own stories (just like the tabloids do). Hours upon hours of fun should ensue as you go through each interesting possibility. The royals had better watch their backs. With this tool nothing is sacred.

Enjoy!

Choose a Royal Prince Charles The Queen Prince Philip Prince William Prince Harry Princess Michael Prince Andrew Prince Edward
Princess Anne
Fergie


Is Has Wants Needs

Choose a Problem/Issue In Love
Furious
Jealous
Lonely Seething Parental Approval Disappointed Jealous Amused Not Amused Incandescent with rage Having an affair To be a Super Hero
Join the Circus



With In Because Because of

Choose a person Chelsy Davy Kate Middleton
Prince Harry
Prince William
Princess Michael
Prince Philip
Camilla The Ghost of Diana Mohammed Al Fayed Paul Burrell Ingrid Seward David Starkey
Nicholas Witchell
Penny Junor
James Whittaker

Of With
Is Because Because They Because they're
Has

Choose a reason Enjoy their writing Hate their writing Make better Jam Won't go away Hungry for power Desperate Curious Always harbored feelings
Extremely glossy hair Doesn't have enough hair Having a baby Getting engaged

Which will result in

Choose a result An epic Constitutional Crisis worse than Edward VIII in 1936 The Queen Abdicating A Shotgun Wedding The continuation of the Windsor Dynasty The End of the Monarchy
Interesting Reading
A make or break vacation
A Reality Show Conspiracy Theories A Media Field Day Nothing

Royal Watchers Are

Choose what they're doing In a tizzy Blogging Bemused Stunned Shocked Fervently Discussing

And Predicting

Choose a Prediction The End of the Monarchy

© Marilyn Braun 2008