The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 13

On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless Kate had been kidnapped by a militant group of Kate-haters called Kate-Haters R Us. While they were distracted Enrique agreed to rescue Kate after being given full credit and his own office. Kate is now back at work but tired from her ordeal, falls asleep at her desk. In her dreams it is now 2062. William and Kate, both 80 years old, are still dating; which has broken the record for the longest royal courtship in history. She is at her desk, bent over, still trying to figure out how to use a stapler. Kate, her hair still inexplicably brown and glossy, receives a phone call on whatever technology exists at that time.

William: Hello darling

Kate: What? Who is this?

William: It's William

Kate: Who?

William shouts down the line: It's WILLIAM. Remember, your boyfriend?

Kate: Oh yes, that's right. What do you want?

William: Well, Granny is having a party to celebrate her 136th birthday and I'd like you to come with me.

Kate: Another birthday? She's really getting up there isn't she?

William: Papa says that all the time

Kate: I thought he was cryogenically frozen?

William: We've unthawed him for this event. He looks very good, not a day over 100.

Kate: I don't know William, I'll have to check my calendar.

William: Hello! will be there..

Kate: Who?

William: I SAID HELLO! WILL BE THERE

Kate: Yes, hello, who are you?

William: (*Sigh*) As your boyfriend and future sovereign I demand that you do my bidding..

Kate: Oh put a sock in it!

William: What?

Kate: PUT A SOCK IN IT! You've kept me waiting long enough!

William: Well I guess I'll have to find someone else to take to the party then..There are lots of women who want to go out with me...

Kate: Who? Everyone you've ever dated is dead. All of our friends are dead. We're the only ones left.

William: Harry and Chelsy will be able to set me up with someone.

Kate: How long have they been married anyways?

William: 52 years

Kate: Why couldn't that have been us?

William: What?

Kate: I SAID WHY COULDN'T THAT HAVE BEEN US?

William: I can't hear you. What are you saying?

Kate: Why haven't you married me?

William: Well, I've been so busy. What with the flying, royal duties, dancing with blonde's in bars..

Kate: Excuses, excuses

William: Are you coming with me or not? I can be at your backyard in half an hour.

Kate: I can't do this anymore

William: You can't do what anymore?

Kate: I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore...

Kate wakes up at her desk. Enrique, intense and smouldering yet professionally dressed, stands over her.

Kate: (Wipes drool from the side of her mouth. There is an imprint of a stapler on the side of her face) What's going on?

Enrique: You were having a nightmare. You kept saying you can't do this anymore. Over and over.

Kate: (Confused) No, I meant I can't fall asleep at my desk any more..

Will Enrique believe Kate's lame excuse? Will Kate continue doing what she's going? Tune in to the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2008