Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 12
On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless, after Kate dropped off The co-worker a few cubicles over who calls himself Enrique (Or TCWAFCOWCHE for short) at an undisclosed location Kate was caught with a cell phone in her hand whilst sitting in the drivers seat of a car. Kate was brought in for questioning and was grilled by Good Cop and Bad Cop. After being released without any charges being laid, Kate was subsequently kidnapped by a militant group known as Kate-Haters R Us, and taken to an undisclosed location not far from where TCWAFCOWCHE was dropped off. Presently Kate, hands tied behind her back and hooded is led into a sparse room. One of the kidnappers takes the hood off Kate and unties her hands. Kate shakes out her glossy hair and looks around a dingy basement apartment filled with IKEA furniture.
Kate: (Recoiling from the surroundings) Where am I?
Kate-Hater #1: We can't tell you that
Kate: Why am I here? What are you planning to do with me?
Kate-Hater #2: Well..we haven't decided yet..
Kate: You're a disorganized lot aren't you? Don't you think that people are going to miss me? What are people going to discuss on message boards now? Who are they going to Kate-bash? What will Hello! do without me on their cover?
Kate-Hater #1: Good point. I never thought of that. What are we..err..people on message boards supposed to do now?
Kate-Hater #2: There has to be someone else?
Kate-Hater #1: Chelsy?
Kate-Hater #2: I rather like Chelsy
Kate_Hater #1: Me too. Unlike Kate here she isn't waiting around. She's independent.
Kate-Hater #2: So therefore we can't bash Chelsy. Who else is there? Beatrice? Zara? Eugenie?
Kate-Hater #1: They're rather boring. I mean, what has Zara done other than get her tongue pierced?
Kate-Hater #2: Yes, a rather desperate move on her part. So no Chelsy, Beatrice, Zara or Eugenie. Sad state of affairs then.
Kate-Hater #1: Quite.
While the Kate-haters are discussing their options TCWAFCOWCHE quietly creeps into the house hoping to use the phone to call for help.
Kate: (Whispering to Enrique) Oh Enrique! I'm so happy to see you!
Enrique: You are?
Kate: Are you here to rescue me?
Enrique: No, why should I? You dropped me off at an undisclosed location in the middle of nowhere..
Kate: That was in the past. I need your help.
Enrique: (To Marilyn, as she writes this episode) Are you kidding me? You write me out of these episodes, and mysteriously get rid of me.
Marilyn, as she writes this episode: But I did leave your return open. Anyways, Kate needs your help and your presence makes you look like a hero.
Enrique: OK. So what's in it for me?
Marilyn, as she writes this episode: What do you want?
Enrique: Credit, creative consultation and my own office. I don't like the cubicle.
Marilyn, as she writes this episode: Done. Now can we get back to the story line? This episode is getting too long.
Enrique gives Kate a smouldering look. He now wears a white unbuttoned dress shirt that shows off his trim, muscular physique. His hair blows in the wind from an unexplained source. His voice has suddenly become deeper with a Clint Eastwood type tone.
Enrique: (To Kate, seductively) Take my hand and let's go..
Will Enrique actually get his own office?...
Enrique: (To Marilyn as she writes this episode) You'd better.
Marilyn, as she writes this episode: Sorry. Where was I?
Will the two Kate-haters ever notice that she's gone? What will royal watchers do without Kate? Find out on the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.
© Marilyn Braun 2008
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