Is Prince William's hair destroying the monarchy?

The monarchy is facing its biggest crisis to date and they're powerless to do anything to prevent it. They didn't see it coming. Who would have thought it could ever happen? It started about five years ago, slowly chipping away at the the very foundation the monarchy prides itself on.

Its good looks.

Everything they hold sacred as the arbiters of style is at risk. Thank goodness for Kate Middleton. Her long, glossy locks will shore up the ranks. But for now the royals are in trouble. A recent poll showed that Britons want Charles as king instead of William. No wonder. Charles has more hair than William. Coincidence? I think not.

Who is ultimately to blame for William's hair? Diana's father, Earl Spencer was balding therefore it must be her fault. She has obviously done more damage to the monarchy than first thought. Luckily Prince Harry inherited genes from his father otherwise there would be no hope left for the monarchy as we know it. Enter the republican movement at stage right.

The media is already asking tough questions on whether Prince William is losing his appeal. Where's a celebrity scandal when you need it? Isn't there a disaster in another country? No, this is just too big an issue. We cannot ignore reality even if the royal family wants us to. If only there was a big event with lots of pagentry to distract us from the inevitable. So we can celebrate while we still have reason to.

On his wedding day, all eyes will be on Prince William. After all, he is the future of the monarchy. Billions of people watching the gradual demise of the royal family. This could get depressing. Let's hope William's uniform comes with a hat.

© Marilyn Braun 2011

Note: This article is meant to be satirical. I think Prince William looks perfectly fine. :) Kate Middleton is a lucky woman who obviously loves him and her opinion is the only one that counts in this respect.