Media media go away, come back on Pippa's wedding day

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Huzzah Pippa Middleton, the one with the famous rear-end, the one that royal watchers enjoy denigrating at every turn for her unsuccessful endeavors and lack of career goals, the one people can't seem to move on from, no matter how hard they might haphazardly try, is engaged to be married to Hedge-Fund beau with a tragic past, James Matthews.

Snooze you lose, Harry!

Even when the engagement was just an unfounded rumor, the speculation began...

Will Prince Harry or the Queen attend the wedding?
Will George and Charlotte be part of the wedding party?
Is Pippa's gigantic engagement ring bigger and more valuable than Kate's haunted engagement ring?
What type of dress will Pippa wear?
Will there be photos of the big day in Hello!? (Pippa, answer the door. They're outside as we speak)

The breathless speculative questions are endless. It's as if she is royal and this is of some sort of significance. Unless she is marrying Prince Harry (even then), it isn't headline news. Especially not when there are greater things to focus on. Like how Larry, 'Chief Mouser' of Downing Street is doing after things came to a vicious head with Palmerston, the Foreign office's Chief Mouser.

Riveting stuff. Have we already run out of legitimate news stories?

The wedding is reportedly set for August 2017. I predict we will be treated to a blow by blow of what her dress might look like, her flowers, cake and venue options to choose from, maybe even a mashup of what her future children's faces will look like. No doubt we will also see a geological diagram of just how distantly related the engaged couple are and how they are both related to a long dead royal. How DO genealogists do it?

I understand that there is interest in what she does, I get being happy for someone (even if you don't know that someone personally). I get wanting to share good news when it seems there is so little of it at the moment. But enough with the daily Pippa updates. Is it too much to ask to leave her alone until her wedding day?

© Marilyn Braun 2016

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

Royal Review: Celebrate by Pippa Middleton

As the sister of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, Pippa Middleton is in an unenviable situation. In many ways, she cannot win and it is unfortunate that to some, she will always be known as the only maid of honor to ever wear a flattering dress. Never judged on her own efforts, but on the media and public perception of her. Celebrate: A Year of Festivities for Families and Friends, is her attempt to change that.

Given her low profile prior to the royal wedding, Celebrate could be viewed as a premature effort. However, she's not the first person to jump on the bandwagon of her own notoriety nor will she be the last. To Pippa's credit, she acknowledges this in the introduction to Celebrate. She has the opportunity and she's taking advantage of it. By admitting this she makes it redundant for those who scoff at her efforts. Now who is being unoriginal?

Several reviews for this book have criticized Pippa for stating the obvious: 'ice goes great with drinks', 'a turkey at Christmas time is good for large gatherings'. Yes it's true, but let's be honest, even Martha Stewart falls back on 'Pumpkins add to the festive atmosphere of Halloween', 'Hearts make perfect Valentines' and 'Easter egg hunts are fun'. What Pippa does add to the field is her youth. Like her sister, she makes going the extra mile fashionable. Thus giving twenty-somethings options other than beer, wine, tortilla chips and brie cheese trays for their own parties.

Divided by seasons, Pippa presents crafts, recipes, nostalgic/traditional games and charming tidbits of trivia appropriate to the occasion. She offers small glimpses into how her family marked events like Easter and Mothers Day. While her tips for building bonfires may not apply to most of her readers,  her game instructions are occasionally hard to follow (Conker fights?) and hanging donuts from trees may be an attempt for the brave, her instructions for creating Christmas decorations and place settings using simple items can be for those willing to make the effort. Very reassuring for craft-challenged people like me.

With Celebrate, Pippa Middleton is not reinventing the wheel for entertaining. Instead her book is a fine attempt at reinterpreting it.

© Marilyn Braun 2012

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

Pippa Middleton, close your eyes and think of England

Pippa, Pippa, Pippa..

What have you gone and done now? Complaining to your lawyers because some guys with cameras took pictures of you? Seriously what are you thinking? It's been nine months since the wedding. You should be used to the attention by now.

Sure, maybe the guy who shoved a camera in your face went too far. Forgive him, he brought a point and shoot. Smile and don't make it more difficult for him. We grudgingly admit, you are entitled to some personal space. But how else was he supposed to get the story about your pores?

Give the guy a pat on the back for originality. No one has yet to do an in depth expose about the pores on your face. Good that he had the guts to aggressively go after the story. Nominate the man for the pore reporting award. It's citizen journalists like him, moonlighting for a cleaning company, who make the world a better place.

Pippa, what do you expect? You can't have it both ways, you know. If you hadn't worn that sexy maid of honor dress, none of this would have happened. Remember the heady moment Kate asked you to be maid of honor? Really, you should have said no. But you had to go and say yes. Now who's to blame? (Don't look at us!)

Pippa, you need to think of the big picture here. We like you but you need to give us a reason to continue to do so. When you leave the safety of your home and go about your daily life, you make so many people happy. People who write about your fashions, relationships and whatever else it is that you do. It's your obligation to maintain our interest. If I can make a suggestion, mix it up a little by holding a baby or a bag of groceries. The purse and sunglasses are getting old.

But don't you dare complain. It just makes you look ungrateful. Then you unleash your lawyers on the press? Might as well drive a dagger into our hearts. When people write books about you, they will need pictures. If you don't cooperate, what then?

So smile, close your eyes and think of England.

Your future biographers will thank you.

© Marilyn Braun 2012

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

Pippa Middleton is a pain in the butt

I don't know about you but I'm getting kind of tired of hearing about Pippa Middleton's butt.

Since she sashayed into the collective consciousness with that kick-ass bridesmaids dress, people can't seem to get enough of her. Except maybe her sister. Sunday dinners at the Middleton's must be a bummer now.

Sure she looked nice, but must we really be subjected to continuously reading about her posterior? News stories such as plastic surgeons being inundated with requests for similar buns? The secret behind her tush is Pilate's? Obviously these news stories are designed to make the rest of lazy-bums feel inadequate.

If fame can be defined as being nominated for the cheeky sounding Britain's Rear of the Year, then Pippa has finally made it to the big leagues. (How do you put that award on your mantle anyways?)

Fame is fleeting, the best advice is for Pippa to put it all behind her. If she needs a kick in the rear, no doubt Kate will be first in line.

At least we know that this can't last forever. Or will we be reading about that too? "No it's all natural" she'll say, at the age of 99. Those of us still alive by that point will scoff. Every ones fanny succumbs to gravity sooner or later.

No if ands or butts.

OK, I'll stop now.

© Marilyn Braun 2011

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

The Royal Report for Sunday May 22, 2011 - Does Pippa Middleton deserve privacy?

Since Prince William and Catherine Middleton's wedding, Pippa Middleton (Catherine's sister) has been the focus of intense media speculation for her looks as well as her relationships. Despite her sister having married into the royal family, does Pippa deserve privacy?

Listen to this episode to find out: Does Pippa Middleton deserve privacy?

Publications discussed:

Hello! Canada Weekly No 218 30 May 2011

From My Royal Collection

Doomed Queens: Royal Women Who Met Bad Ends, From Cleopatra to Princess Di

Tune in to the next episode of The Royal Report on Sunday May 29, 2011 at 9:00PM ET.

The topic will be: Prince Philip at 90

© Marilyn Braun 2011

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

Royal Focus: Kate Middleton's Coat of Arms

Image source:
Wikipedia

Another item crossed off Kate's to-do list!

Kate Middleton's Coat of Arms have recently been unveiled. Commissioned by her father, Michael Middleton, these arms reflect the Middleton family history and preferences.

This version of the arms hangs from a tied blue ribbon, symbolizing Kate's current unmarried state and can only be used by Kate, up to her wedding day, and her sister Pippa Middleton.

The arms are lozenge shaped rather than a shield - a shape reserved for men. The design features three acorn sprigs, representing each of the Middleton children - Catherine, Phillipa and James. A touch reportedly suggested by Kate. The acorns also symbolize oak trees, a traditional symbol of England and a feature of west Berkshire, where the family have lived for 30 years.

The colours blue and red were chosen as they are the principle colours from the flag of the United Kingdom.The dividing line (between two colours) down the centre is a canting of the name 'Middle-ton'. At the centre is a gold inverted "V" reflecting Kate's mother Carole's maiden name Goldsmith.

The two thin white chevrons on each side of the band are meant to symbolize peaks and mountains, representing the Middleton's love of the Lake District and skiing.

The arms will appear on the back of the souvenir wedding program, with those of Prince William on the front. After their marriage, Kate's arms will be impaled with those of her husband.

© Marilyn Braun 2011

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

Royal wedding bridesmaids and supporters

Prince William and Catherine Middleton's choice of attendants for their wedding day continue a long tradition of including royal relatives in their wedding party. Prince William has chosen his brother, Prince Harry, as his best-man (or supporter) and Catherine has chosen her sister Pippa as her Maid of honor.

Here's a look back at some royal wedding parties from the past.

Queen Victoria & Prince Albert
British Monarchy Flickr

Queen Victoria & Prince Albert - February 10, 1840

Supporters: Prince Albert's father, the Duke of Saxe Coburg Gotha and his brother, Prince Ernest, The Hereditary Prince

12 train bearers - all daughters of peers of the realm

Prince & Princess of Wales
Source: Wikipedia

Albert Edward, Prince of Wales & Princess Alexandra of Denmark - March 10, 1863

Supporters: His brother-in-law, Crown Prince of Prussia and his uncle Ernest, Duke of Coburg

Bridesmaids: Eight unmarried daughters of earls and countesses

Prince George, Duke of York, and Princess May of Teck July 6, 1893

Supporters: The Groom's father, The Prince of Wales and his uncle, Prince Alfred, Duke of Edinburgh.

Bridesmaids: Nine granddaughters and one great-granddaughter of Queen Victoria:

Princess Alexandra of Edinburgh, Princess Helena Victoria of Schleswig-Holstein, Princess Victoria Melita of Edinburgh, Princess Victoria and Princess Maud of Wales. Princess Alice of Battenberg, Princess Margaret of Connaught, Princess Beatrice of Edinburgh, Princess Victoria Eugenie of Battenberg and Princess Patricia of Connaught

Princess Mary
Source: Wikipedia

Princess Mary & Viscount Lascelles - February 28, 1922

Eight bridesmaids, including Lady Elizabeth Bowes Lyon

Prince Albert, Duke of York & Lady Elizabeth Bowes Lyon - April 26, 1923

Supporter/Best man: The Prince of Wales

Lady Mary Cambridge, Lady May Cambridge, the Hon. Diamond Hardinge, Lady Mary Thynne, Lady Katherine Hamilton, Miss Elizabeth Cator, the Hon. Elizabeth  Elphinstone and the Hon. Cecilia Bowes Lyon

Prince George, Duke of Kent and Princess Marina of Greece and Denmark November 29, 1934

Best man: The Prince of Wales

Eight bridesmaids: Princess Elizabeth of York, Princesses Irene, Eugenie and Katherine of Greece, Princess Juliana (later Queen) of the Netherlands, the Grand Duchess Kira of Russia, Lady Mary Cambridge and Lady Iris Mountbatten

Prince Henry, Duke of Gloucester & Lady Alice Montagu Douglas Scott November 6, 1935

Best men/Supporters: The Prince of Wales and The Duke of York

Eight bridesmaids: Princess Elizabeth and Princess Margaret. Lady Mary Cambridge, Miss Anne Hawkins, Miss Claire Phipps, Lady Elizabeth Scott, Lady Angela Scott and Miss Moyra Scott.

Princess Elizabeth & Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten - November 20, 1947

Supporter/Best man - Prince Philip's first cousin, the third Marquess of Milford Haven

Eight bridesmaids: HRH Princess Margaret, HRH Princess Alexandra of Kent, Lady Caroline Montagu-Douglas-Scott, Lady Mary Cambridge, Lady Elizabeth Lambart, The Hon. Pamela Mountbatten, The Hon Margaret Elphinstone, The Hon Diana Bowes-Lyon

Pages: Prince William of Gloucester and Prince Michael of Kent

Princess Margaret & Antony Armstrong Jones - May 6, 1960

Best man/Supporter: Dr. Roger W. Gilliatt. Originally Jeremy Fry but he was caught in a scandal. In 1952 he had been arrested in Hyde Park, and fined £2 after pleading "guilty to a minor offense."

Eight child bridesmaids, including Princess Anne

Princess Alexandra & Angus Ogilvy - April 24, 1963

Supporter/Best man: Hon Peregrine Fairfax

2 pages and 5 Bridesmaids, including Elizabeth, Archduchess of Austria and Princess Anne

Princess Anne & Captain Mark Philips November 14, 1973

Supporter/Best man - Captain Eric Grounds

Bridesmaid: Lady Sarah Armstrong Jones. Page: Prince Edward. Princess Anne deliberately chose to have only two attendants because of her previous experience as a bridesmaid wrangling 'unruly children.'

Prince Charles & Lady Diana Spencer July 29, 1981

Supporters/Best men: Prince Andrew and Prince Edward

Bridesmaids: Lady Sarah Armstrong Jones, Catherine Cameron, India Hicks, Clementine Hambro, Sarah Jane Gaselee

Pages: Lord Nicholas Windsor & Edward van Cutsem

Prince Andrew & Sarah Ferguson - July 23, 1986

Supporter/Best man - Prince Edward

Bridesmaids - Lady Rosanagh Innes-Ker, Miss Laura Fellowes, Miss Zara Philips, Miss Alice Ferguson

Pages: Prince William, Peter Phillips, Andrew Ferguson, Seamus Makim

Prince Edward & Sophie Rhys Jones - June 19, 1999

Supporters/Best man: The Prince of Wales & The Duke of York

Bridesmaids: Camilla Hadden and Olivia Taylor

Pageboys: Harry Warburton and Felix Sowerbutts

Prince William & Catherine Middleton - April 29, 2011

Best man: Prince Harry
Maid of Honor: Pippa Middleton

Bridesmaids: The Lady Louise Windsor, The Hon. Margarita Armstrong-Jones, Miss Grace van Cutsem, Miss Eliza Lopes,

Pageboys: Master William (Billy) Lowther-Pinkerton, Master Tom Pettifer

© Marilyn Braun 2011

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

The Royal Report for Sunday November 28, 2010 -Do Kate Middleton's parents know what they're in for?

What do the Middleton's, the Spencer's and the Fergusons all have in common? They have a daughter who has married into the royal family. The Middleton's are well on their way to joining those ranks. When Kate marries William, what are they in for?

Listen to this episode to find out: What are Kate Middleton's parents in for?

Publications mentioned

Hello! Canada No 196 29 November 2010

Hello! Royal Special Collector's Edition - A Royal Engagement Celebration

Star December 6, 2010 Cover Story - The Real Kate

Macleans November 29, 2010 Cover Story - William & Kate - At Last

People Magazine December 6, 2010 Cover Story Kate Middleton - A Perfect Princess!

OK! Magazine December 6, 2010 Issue#49 Cover story - William & Kate wedding special

US Weekly Issue 825 December 6, 2010 Cover Story - The Making of a New Princess

Websites mentioned

The World of Royalty

From My Royal Collection

The Country Life book of Diana, Princess of Wales by Lornie Leete-Hodge

Tune in to the next episode of The Royal Report on Sunday December 5, 2010 at 9:00PM EST (North America)

The topic will be: Should the Crown bypass Prince Charles and go to Prince William instead?
© Marilyn Braun 2010