Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 7

On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless Kate was torn between getting the stapler to work vs being at William's beck and call. In a fit of frustration she tosses the stapler across the office. A distant "oww" can be heard a few cubicles over. It's 9:30AM and she's just gotten off the phone with Prince William, who has made an idle threat to find someone else, ultimately rooted in a deep seated insecurity yet to be explored through therapy. She's crying and decides to call Prince Harry's girlfriend Chelsy Davy.

Kate: *Sob* William wants to *sob* put *sob* our *sob* wedding plans *sob* on *sob* hold.

Chelsy: So what else is new? What is it now?

Injured uncredited co-worker a few cublicles over: I think I'm bleeding

Kate: *Sob* William says he wants to focus on his RAF career. *sob* He puts his chopper above all else. If I'd known that there would be three of us in this relationship...

Chelsy: *Sigh* Like I said in Episode 4 you need to like make yourself scarce. Like leave the country, make William, like, chase after you.

Injured uncredited co-worker a few cubicles over: Can someone take me to the doctor?

Kate: Maybe if I'd just gone with William...if only I hadn't decided to get some of my self-respect back by working...none of this would have happened...*sob*

Chelsy: No wonder people call you "Waity-Katy"

Kate: It's Catherine!

Chelsy: Whatever. You like need to figure things out. What about a different career? Maybe, like, interior design?

Kate dries her eyes, which unlike normal women whose eyes would still be puffy, now look perfect. A thud is heard as the injured uncredited co-worker a few cubicles over, who has lost a lot of blood, falls to the ground.

Kate: You're right Chelsy. As God is my witness, as God as my witness, they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again....I'll go home. And I'll think of some way to get him back. After all... tomorrow is another day.

Chelsy: Whatever, Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler..

Kate: It's Catherine!

Will Kate run with Chelsy's career suggestion? Will she check to make sure that it's okay to quote copyrighted text from the classic 1939 movie, Gone with the Wind based on the 1936 novel of the same name by Margaret Mitchell? Will someone ever call an ambulence for the injured uncredited co-worker a few cubicles over? Find out on the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2008

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