Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Survivor Balmoral - Day 31

Trapped in their home for 39 days with no servants to wait on them, no private secretaries as go betweens, the royals must communicate directly with each other and make their own beds. Through a series of challenges, each contestant will prove that they are the real Royal Survivor.

On the last episode, Kate Middleton left the competition after being humiliated by Prince William once too often. Prince William seems to be coping well despite this set back. Princess Anne currently has the immunity idol after winning the letter mailing challenge. This week, Charles faces his toughest challenge yet: mowing the lawn.

Prince Charles looks for the gardening shed. Confused, he walks over to the Myrtle bush.

"Excuse me, do you know where the lawn mower is?". Receiving no answer, he goes over to the rose bush. "I'm in a bit of a hurry, can you help me find the gardening shed?"

Prince Harry comes by on the riding lawnmover. "Do you think I can play polo on this?"

Meanwhile, Prince Edward is inside Balmoral, trying to run his own bath. Princess Anne has come to his assistance.

Prince Edward: What does this H and C mean? How do you turn it on?

Princess Anne: This is so difficult, we really should pay our staff more.

Prince Edward: Shhhh..don't let them hear that! (looks at the camera) you will edit that out, won't you?

In another part of the castle, Prince Philip finds himself in trouble with The Queen after having forgotten her birthday.

Prince Philip: Lilibet, my memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory is not what it used to be.

The Queen: Let's see whether I give you 'Prince Consort' for our anniversary in November!

The Queen walks off in a huff.

Prince Philip (to the camera): What is it with all of this sentimental nonsense. After 60 years, what does she expect?....wait a moment, no Prince Consort???...Lilibet...Lilibet...

Later in the day the Windsor tribe learn that they are safe from Tribal Council after Princess Michael of Kent, in the Hanover tribe, loses to Prince Charles in the jam making competition. Despite this victory, the Windsor's lose a member when Prince Harry is called to duty in Iraq. Prince William is incandescent with rage.

Prince William: It should have been me that went! Harry isn't going to be head of the armed services!

Prince Andrew: Would you really want him to be? Especially after the Nazi costume?

Prince William: But it should have been mmmmmeeeeeeee

Prince Andrew: Look at it as a compliment. We spares are expendible.

Prince William is still disappointed but visibly brightens. "Poor Chelsy, she must miss Harry. How terribly lonely she must be. Do you think she might need some comforting?"

On the next episode of Survivor Balmoral: Charles boils an egg and Anne opens her own door.

© Marilyn Braun 2007

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