Monday, April 16, 2007

Kate Middleton's Future

It's all over the news - Kate Middleton and William have split. I haven't been this shocked since Brad and Jen. What went wrong? They looked so good on the Woolworth commemorative mugs. It's so sad. She invested five years of her life into the relationship. Not to mention all of time we wasted speculating. And for what? Didn't we deserve a happy ending?

Typically Clarence House remains tight lipped. We'll never know the true reason and many trees will fall in speculating. Did William feel up one too many drunken blondes? Did she show too much spunk with the media? What, if anything, did Camilla have to do with this? The questions and possibilities for spin are endless.

Our first instinct might be to feel sorry for her. After all, now that she no longer has to save the monarchy, she has time to think about her future. But don't feel so bad, she has several options before she becomes a royal footnote:

  • She can write her autobiography. Nothing eases the pain like cashing in.

  • She can parlay her fame into an acting, modelling or singing career. No singing experience required - look at J.Lo and Hilary Duff.

  • She can become a motivational speaker, holding seminars on 'How not to become a princess'.

  • Design a range of items, like purses or hats, for the discerning royal wannabe.

  • Like Fergie, she can write childrens books and endorse Wedgewood.

  • She can do tearful appearances on Oprah. And make the cover of Hello magazine looking despondent.

  • She can appear on reality shows eating questionable animal parts with Paul Burrell.

  • Like spurned Bachelor contestant Trista Rehn, she can become the new Bachellorette.

  • She can become a contestant on Dancing with the stars.

  • If she's feeling charitable, she could go out with Kevin Federline.

  • She can become BFF with Paris Hilton.

And most importantly:

She can get on with her life.

© Marilyn Braun 2007

Note: This article made an online magazine!!!!

No comments: