Royal Reality

Whenever I write an article I usually ask my husband to read them, not necessarily for constructive criticism, but more for reassurance that at least someone is reading my blog. Having read the recent articles, he tactfully commented that the royal profiles, were, uh, lacking some pizzazz. He said that I should write something negative about my subjects, controversial, something most people wouldn't know about them.

Me: Are you saying that the royals are boring?

At that moment I knew I was asking a rhetorical question

Yes, the royals are boring

For non-royal watchers this is rather obvious. When was the last time they really did something interesting? We've only had a handful of royals that have some type of glamour - Prince Edward, the future King Edward VIII, then Duke of Windsor - who abdicated for the woman he loved. Princess Margaret, choosing duty over love. In present times, there was Diana and squigy-gate, Charles and Camilla-gate, and toe-sucking, freebie Fergie; the ultimate royal entertainer!

In this day and age of reality television, we're looking for the quick fix. People demeaning themselves for our entertainment. The royals use television as a medium for christmas broadcasts, exclusive interviews, flattering profiles, and occasional retaliation. In 1987 The Duke and Duchess of York, Princess Anne and Prince Edward did take part in an early reality tv show 'It's a royal knockabout', a 'slapstick' game show with members of the royal family, dressed in medieval costume, acting as team captains for a charity of their choice. But that was fairly tame in comparision to today. We would never see the royals on Fear Factor. Can you imagine the Queen repelling off a 10 story building for $50,000?

So, how can the royals be more interesting? Personally, I think they need to get with the times, appeal to a younger demographic, get in touch with their subjects. What better way to do this than via their own reality series. Here are some ideas I've come up with:

Newlyweds: Follow those romantic middle-aged lovebirds Charles and Camilla as they adapt to the monotony of married life.

Royal Bootcamp: A reality show that follows Prince Harry through the trials and challenges of his military career. He could endear himself to the audience by tearing up when he's called Prince Sicknote.

Survivorman - Leave Princess Michael in the woods for seven days, sans food and water, with a harmonica and camera and see whether she comes back.

The Apprentice - Tune in to see the Queen tell Prince Charles "You're fired!"

The Bachelor - Prince William chooses from a bevy of lovely aristocratic ladies, vying for the opportunity to be a future mistress

The Simple Life: Strip Princess Beatrice and Zara Philips of their cell phones and manolo blahniks, send them to rural Saskatchewan, and see what happens

© Marilyn Braun