Monday, October 31, 2005

Question - How can I please everyone?

Charles from England writes:

I'm completely misunderstood by everyone, it seems that no matter what I do it's judged mercilessly. I can't seem to please anyone. I try and put the Great back into Great Britain and no one seems to notice. What else do I need to do? I married and had heirs - oh the things I do for England! I carry out engagements, cut ribbons, eat organically, pay attention to my children...why ME? I didn't ask to be born into this position. I just want to be happy, how do I please everyone?

Dear Charles,

Well, thank you for writing in. Whilst I cannot pretend to understand your position, I will try to. If my hours of watching Dr. Phil have taught me, you cannot please everyone, it's a losing battle. However, just because it's a losing battle, doesn't mean you shouldn't make an effort. Have you tried hard enough? People can tell if you don't have your heart in it. Remember, if you make a valid attempt, you will never live your life with regrets.

To help you out, I've compiled a list of 25 ways* that you can please everyone:

  1. Say nothing
  2. Smile all of the time
  3. Time permitting, listen to what everyone says
  4. Do what your parents tell you to do
  5. Take the advice of everyone
  6. If advice conflicts, do a half and half split
  7. Always revere Diana's memory
  8. Publicly appear weighed down with guilt and regret
  9. Keep your opinions to yourself and don't make speeches that criticize people
  10. Make your own jam
  11. Practice what you preach
  12. Stay married and don't have an affair
  13. Sacrifice your personal happiness cheerfully
  14. Be happy but not too happy
  15. Answer all of your critics - by letter, email or phone
  16. Believe what everyone says about you and adapt your behavior accordingly
  17. Don't answer open ended questions
  18. Send thank you notes to all of your critics
  19. Be unfailingly polite, gracious, and generous
  20. Work hard but pay your own way
  21. Be nice to everyone - you never know where there's a microphone
  22. Show modesty and gratitude about your position
  23. Stay below to radar
  24. Keep Harry on a short leash
  25. Abdicate and let William take over

© Marilyn Braun

* Authors note: these are only guidelines, it's unlikely he will please everyone by using them. Don't tell Charles that. You might please me by using them but I'm not everyone. I like to think I am but I'm not. Read my blog regularly and share my blog link with everyone, this will please me too. I make no guarantees, nor do I assume any legal responsibility if you use them. Results may vary. May contains traces of peanuts. Dry clean only. Use caution if you have heart problems, or are pregnant. Keep out of reach of children. Pleasing eveyrone might be bad for your mental health. Consult your therapist for advice on your specific situation.


Anonymous said...

" Unlike the other Queens, Beatrix succeeded upon the abdication of her mother, Queen Juliana, in 1980."

This is not entirely correct: Queen Wilhelmina, Queen Juliana's mother also abdicated (1948). Her mother, Queen Emma, born princess of Waldeck and Pyrmonet was Queen Consort. When her husband died in 1890 she became Queen Regent for her then 10 year old daughter Wilhelmina. Another interesting fact is that after abdication the Queen Regnant once again becomes Princess of the Netherlands.

Only after their death are they once again called: Queen. (Wilhelmina, Juliana)

Queen Emma was an exception since she already was a Queen Consort so after Queen Wilhelmina ascended the throne in 1898, Queen Emma was refered to as Queen Dowager Emma or Queen Mother Emma.

Marilyn Braun said...

Re: Queens Regnant article

Thank you for the aditional information. Although interesting from a historical perspective, this article is not meant to compare Beatrix to Wilheminia and Juliana. It's a comparison between the present Queens Regnant. I have rewritten the sentence to clarify that.

"Unlike Queen Elizabeth II and Queen Margarethe II, Beatrix succeeded upon the abdication of her mother, Queen Juliana, in 1980".