Friday, February 01, 2013

Catherine Cambridge is one step closer to sainthood

It's official. Since April 29th, 2011, Catherine Cambridge is the greatest person who has ever deigned to walk the earth amongst us.

We want her nose, clothes, hair, teeth and to get pregnant at the same time. Even her dog is better than yours. Don't believe me? Read this and weep at how inadequate we are in comparison. Thankfully she isn't a full time royal yet, so your work ethic is safe. Just don't get complacent.

Irrefutable proof of
our inadequacy
Everything Catherine touches turns to gold. No one goes shopping like she does. Or holds a cup of coffee with such je ne sais quoi.  she never spills and always recycles. She breathes with an √©lan that we can only breathlessly admire. When she gives birth, there will be no need to read the news. A star will be above the hospital guiding us to the blessed child, whose receiving blanket will sell out once he/she appears in it.

Catherine will be the perfect mother, or so we will be told. Never shall an impatient thought cross her mind. The child's diapers will be sweet. The contents capable of bringing world peace. Tied with Baby Jesus for halo size and awe inspiring serenity. He/She is already wealthier than you can ever dream of being. But this pales in comparison to having Catherine as the most perfect mother. Ever.

Yes. Catherine is the best person who ever lived. Or so we are told. When it comes to our opinions, there is no middle ground. Those who praise are sycophants, those who are critical are jealous. Only Catherine, high on her pedestal, is above it all. 

We only need to read the news to see who placed her there.

© Marilyn Braun 2013

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Rman said...


I truly enjoy your articles. Yeah, the media very much paint the Royal Women of Windsor as saints. They did it to Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother, Princess Elizabeth/Queen, The Princess of Wales and now The Duchess of Cambridge.

I think even the royals themselves think the endless praises is way over the top. Also, I think they know that the media builds them up, only to knock them down.

Marilyn Braun said...

Hi Rman,

Thanks very much! :)

Yes, it's frightening how much the royals are built up. Prince Philip once observed about the coverage when Queen Elizabeth first succeeded to the throne. He described the attention as 'corrosive'. Which I think it can be, both positively and negatively, if taken too literally. To believe it either way has the power to destroy. To be honest, I hope Catherine ignores it but it must be very hard to do so.

My only hope is that Catherine can keep a level head about her when her pedestal is knocked down. The media praising her to the sky will not last forever. Just like it didn't with Diana and Sarah.

Rman said...

I don't think Catherine allows the media praises to go to her head. Although the Monarchy pretty much survive on their popularity. The Royal Wedding, Jubilee and Olympics has helped them in that department.

I think Catherine is just focused on being a good and supportive wife, future mother and on her royal role.