Friday, August 03, 2007

An Open Letter to Kate Middleton

Dear Kate,

We were so sorry to hear about your break-up with Prince William in April. You guys looked so good together, we truly thought you were meant to be. Well, at least I did. In the devastating aftermath we found out, through the media, that you were coping well. Putting on a brave face despite, what must have been, the crushing weight of our expectations and disappointment.

It's been almost five months and we're glad to see that you're doing better. You looked great at the Concert for Diana. You've joined a rowing team - always good to start new hobbies to get your mind off of things. And your parent's business is doing great; shrewdly cashing in on the Harry Potter craze. It's all good.

But let me get to the point of this letter. We know that you're doing better, but can you please try to be less interesting to us? the whole ordinary shtick just isn't working. Take a vacation. Drive instead of taking the bus. We don't want to see you partying so stay home and watch a chick flick. If you do go out, can you not wear a mini-dress? or have such shiny hair? Must you carry the rowing boat with such élan? Tabloid columnists find it distracting.

Things seem to be looking up for you. We've read that you're back together with William. That's fantastic. Hello magazine just featured your ambiguous smile on their cover for the upteenth time. Not a day seems to go by where someone doesn't write about you. But be careful not to let these things get out of hand, the media might start blaming you for all of this publicity.

Take care of yourself Kate. And remember, we've always got your back.

© Marilyn Braun 2007

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