Kate Middleton sends her regrets

I'm a young, tall and beautiful woman who has been dating a prince for several years. My problem is that I'm having difficulty trying to live up to every single persons expectations about how I should behave/act/work/dress. Currently people are complaining that I didn't reply to an invitation to a charity function. How can I handle this situation in the future.

Dear modest princess-in-waiting,

This must be a difficult situation for you. How to graciously decline various invitations sent or not sent to you. You can't win, can you? There's only so much time in the day, better spent asking me for advice. It's almost as if you're the only 'young, tall, beautiful woman who has been dating a prince for several years' who has ignored an invitation. Come to think of it, you are.

However, having pointed that out, you're not the only person in the whole entire world who has ignored, backtracked or come up with some clever excuse to decline an invitation - [ahem, YOU know who YOU are]. There are many ways to creatively decline: you could claim illness, a sudden death of a beloved pet, or a previous (read: more interesting) engagement. For instance:

'I cannot attend because I'm unwell due to the death of my beloved pet and missing the funeral would look insensitive'

Add the word 'devastated' and you may get some flowers and a casserole out of it to boot.

Anyhoo, according to Google search results, proper etiquette states that you should, at minimum, acknowledge the invitation. This will, hopefully avoid those vindictive, do-gooder, charitable-types who sell their story to the press. Acknowledging could have bought you some time and it would have made you look good. As well, it would have deflected attention away from your parents X-Factor debacle. Where is Uncle Gary when you need him?

Remember, you are never safe from public opinion and you really should have known better. You can only coast on the wave of an imaginative wedding hat for so long. 

© Marilyn Braun 2010

Diagnosis: Kate Middleton fever

You may recognize the signs immediately: hyperventilation, excessive use of Twitter, and jump-on-the-bandwagon blog posts such as this one.

If you experience any of these symptoms, you may have Kate Middleton fever. If the photograph at left sends you into paroxysms of joy, you definitely have Kate Middleton fever.

This fever is not in itself fatal although people around you may want to take caution. If you, or someone you know experiences this fever, it is wise to keep as calm as possible. If you are pregnant, nursing, have a heart condition or a peanut allergy, extra caution is advised.

Many events can trigger symptoms. Articles in the Daily Mail, tabloid cover stories, recent photos of Kate Middleton, or even articles about Kate's family. If Prince William is photographed with her then you're symptoms are likely to be more acute. There is no need to head to your closest emergency room, the fever will eventually subside until the next round of photographs appears.

This fever is likely to strike at various times of the year, usually in waves. Starting in January on Kate's birthday, the rumors continue, leading up to the festive season. The unsubstantiated, conflicting rumors can occur daily or even weekly at their peak. For your own safety and the safety of those around you, it is advisable to refrain from using computer/hand-held devices and operating heavy machinery. Avoid grocery-lines and book store shelves. As well, fresh air and brisk outdoor activity is also recommended.

Treatment:

Take with regular grains of salt

© Marilyn Braun 2010

The Royal Report for Sunday October 24, 2010 - Is Lady Gaga more powerful than the Queen?

On the 2010 Forbes list of the World most powerful women, Lady Gaga ranked 7th on the list while the Queen came in 41st. Is Lady Gaga really more powerful than the Queen?

Listen to the episode here

Publications mentioned

Hello! Canada No 191 25 October 2010

Hello! Royal Special The Royal Women Inside their legendary stories of love, power and passion

From My Royal Collection

The Queen and Her Children by Lisa Sheridan

Websites and blogs mentioned

The World of Royalty Website

The World of Royalty Blog

Resources

Forbes List of the World's 100 Most Powerful Women

The New Forbes Power Women

Tune in live to the next episode of The Royal Report on Sunday November 7, 2010 at 9:00PM EST (North America).

The topic will be: When the Queen goes to that glittering palace in the sky, can Prince Charles and Prince William modernize the monarchy for the 21st century?

© Marilyn Braun 2010

The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 19

On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless, Prince William caught girlfriend Kate Middleton in Enrique's clutches. In an effort to avoid future awkward situations, Enrique was sent on a global tour to promote awareness of the lack of Party Supplies in Third World Countries. Enrique, recently returned from his tour, demoralized but with a thicker skin, tries to avoid Kate - to no avail.

Enrique: (*sigh*) Bono refused to meet with me

Kate: You think you have problems!

Enrique notes that Kate is pouting. Her mother Carole sits beside Kate, consoling her.

Enrique: What is it now?

Kate: (whimpering) William (*sob*) says (*sob*) his 'whole heart is with the Army' (*sob*)

Enrique smolders as he considers this new development

Carole: Nothing to fret about dear.

Carole suddenly visibly brightens

Carole: The word 'Army' must be code for Kate!

Enrique shakes his head

Kate: Oh Mummy, what will I do?

Carole: You'll just have to take a different approach, that's all.

Carole thinks for a moment and comes up with an idea.

Carole: We'll have to put you in camouflage!

Enrique: What?

Carole: They wear camouflage in the Army, right?

Enrique: Well, yes but..

Kate: Oh that's a brilliant idea!

Carole: We'll get you all kitted out! Vest, helmet, machine gun, the works!

Kate, looks hopeful. Enrique looks anxious. He rubs the scar from the stapler incident in episode 7

Enrique: Mrs Middleton?

Carole (gathering momentum): We'll sign you up for tank driving lessons!

Kate: Yes, Mummy! yes!!

Enrique kneels before Kate and takes her hands in his.

Enrique: Kate, do you think this is a sign?

Kate: A sign of what?

Enrique: You've given up everything, you've taken voice lessons and still...

Carole: (firmly) Never mind! I will not give up! It will be worth it in the end!

Kate: (confused) What?

Enrique: (delicately) Kate, maybe it's time to face reality?

Carole: Don't give up now Kate! The prize is in sight!

Enrique: No, Kate, don't...

Kate looks from her mother to Enrique, unsure of what to do next. Carole helps Kate to her feet and leads Kate away.

Carole: Kate, maybe Daddy can give you flying lessons....

Enrique gets up slowly and sighs

Enrique: I quit

Will Enrique really quit when there's so much potential in the storyline? Does Kate look good in camouflage? Will she learn how to drive a tank? Will she finally face reality?

Find out on the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2010

Why the Prince Harry kidnapping film intrigues me

Oh the horror!

Actually showing the potential reality of the situation!

A first for any movie dramatizing the royal family where artistic licence is the norm.

Channel 4 in the UK is set to broadcast a film called 'The Taking of Prince Harry.' The film dramatises the third in line to the throne being kidnapped by the Taliban, 'shot with an unloaded pistol and forced to appear in Al-Qaida and Taliban propaganda videos'.

Now people are shocked, and high ranking military leaders are concerned for what it would do for morale or lest it give any terrorists ideas. The powers that be at Channel 4 have not bowed to pressure to shelve the film. Good for them.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want Harry to be harmed or kidnapped. But this is the reality when he heads over to Afghanistan to fight with his boys. The potential is always there. Or is it? A film depicting Prince Harry being kidnapped is seen as distasteful.  Is it better to dramatize the kidnapping of some other soldier provided we don't know who he/she is?

In 2008, when we saw footage of Harry in Afghanistan he was depicted in his job as a forward air controller, looking macho in camouflage while firing a machine gun, and foot patrolling a deserted Afghan town, hugging his weapon.  Yes, the photos of him were impressive. He played his role well. Certainly we should be proud that he 'walked the talk' and no question he did something to earn the medal he was awarded. But there is no way he would ever come into harms way. Guarded from birth, no one would ever let that happen. Prince Harry is a fool to think that he can fight like any other soldier. He may be fed the same food, allowed to get dirty, exposed to the elements and wear the same gear. But that's where the similarities end. Unlike his fellow soldiers, he has people who are paid to take bullets for him.

Which is why this special sounds so intriguing. What would happen if he did get kidnapped? How much would the ransom note be? Would the government *gasp* negotiate? Who would wring their royal hands more, Charles or the Queen? How would the military deal with it? How far would they go to secure Prince Harry's release? If they put the same amount of effort into rescuing him than they do for other soldiers, then maybe this film isn't so realistic after all.

I wish I could watch the film. It seems like it shows the potential reality Harry could have faced while in Afghanistan. And it faces the reality should he return there.

Maybe it's time that Clarence House did the same.

© Marilyn Braun 2010

The Royal Report for Sunday October 17, 2010 - What type of Royal Wedding should Prince William and Kate Middleton have?

Prince William and Kate Middleton have been dating for eight years. While there is no imminent wedding plans, this episode speculates on what type of wedding the couple could have and the history behind royal weddings of the past.

You can listen to the episode here

Publications mentioned

Hello! Canada Weekly No 190 18 October 2010

Life & Style Weekly - October 18, 2010 - Cover story: Royal Dream Wedding

Blogs mentioned

British Royal Wedding

From My Royal Collection

Royal Wedding (Queen Elizabeth II & Prince Philip)

Tune in to the next episode of The Royal Report on Sunday October 24th, 2010 at 9:00PM EST (North America)

The topic will be: According to a recent Forbes poll, Lady Gaga has come in 7th on the list of the world's most powerful women, while the Queen came in 41st. Is Lady Gaga really more powerful than the Queen?

© Marilyn Braun 2010

Royal Focus: The Duchess of Windsor's Jewels

When the Duchess of Windsor's jewels were auctioned off by Sotheby's in Geneva in 1987 the two-day sale raised a record $50,281.887, seven times the Sotheby's presale estimate. At the request of the late-Duchess, the money raised went towards the Pasteur Institute, the medical research centre in Paris.

On November 30th, some of the jewels will again be auctioned by Sotheby's.

These jewels were more than just beautiful craftsmanship, they are priceless symbols of love.

This Diamond Cartier bracelet, circa 1935 was designed as a single row of spectacle-set brilliant-cut diamonds, supporting nine gem-set Latin crosses made from Platinum, Sapphire, Yellow Sapphire, Ruby, Baguette Diamond, Emerald, Amethyst, Aquamarine, and the marriage cross,comprised of Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald. Each cross, inscribed with affectionate phrases, marked special or significant events in the couple's relationship, including their wedding, a birthday, an assassination attempt on King Edward VIII, and the Duchess' appendectomy surgery in 1944,  This jewel was worn at their wedding in 1937.

This Emerald, Ruby and Diamond brooch was made by Cartier in 1957. The brooch is heart-shaped and is pave-set with circular-cut-diamonds, surmounted by a gold and calibre-cut ruby crown. At the center of the heart, the initials W.E. are marked in emeralds. Just below the initials, are the roman numerals XX in rubies.  This brooch was made to commemorate the Duke and Duchess of Windsor's twentieth wedding anniversary.

This Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, Citrine and Diamond clip was mounted by Cartier in 1940. Created by Jeanne Troussaint for Cartier it was made by breaking up a necklace and four bracelets in the Duke's collection. Designed as a flamingo, the plumage is set with emeralds, rubies, and sapphires. The beak is set with a cabochon citrine and the head, neck, body and legs with brilliant-cut diamonds. The Duke reportedly gave the Duchess this clip as a birthday gift on June 19, 1940.

The Duchess of Windsor had a fascination with animals and it is no surprise that this fondness was expressed through her jewels. This item is one of several panther jewels in her collection. The Cartier 'Great Cat' Jewels were inspired by Jeanne Toussaint for Cartier, this Onyx and Diamond panther bracelet was made in 1952 and is designed to encircle the wrist, assuming a stalking attitude. It is pave-set with circular-cut diamonds and calibre-cut-onyx, and the eyes are set with marquise-shaped emeralds.

© Marilyn Braun 2010

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

The Royal Report for Sunday October 3, 2010- Is Kate Middleton suitable for the royal family?

Kate Middleton has been dating Prince William for eight years. There has been much discussion surrounding whether or not she is suitable for the royal family. Is she suitable for the royal family?

Listen to the episode to find out:

Is Kate Middleton suitable for the royal family?

Publications mentioned

Hello! Canada Weekly No 189 4 october 2010

Blogs mentioned

British Royal Wedding

Videos mentioned

In Private - In Public: The Prince and Princess of Wales [VHS]

From My Royal Collection

In the Royal Manner: Expert Advice on Etiquette and Entertaining from the Former Butler to Diana, Princess of Wales by Paul Burrell

There will be no episode next week. Tune in to the next episode of The Royal Report on Sunday October 17, 2010 at 9:00PM EST

Topic to be determined

© Marilyn Braun 2010