The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 16

On the last episode of The Royal and The Clueless, Kate Middleton vowed to make better use of her time. Recently recorded speaking in public for the first time, Kate decides to work on her enunciation with her co-worker Enrique.

Kate: Do you think I sounded okay on that YouTube video?

Enrique: Darling, you did a great job. I can hear you thanking small children for posies in that voice. But there's still work to do. Let's begin: "The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain.."

Kate: The rine in spine sties minely in the pline

Enrique: It's 'the *rain* in *Spain* stays *mainly* in the *plain*.

Kate: Didn't ah sy that?

Enrique: (sighs) Kate, you speak as well as you roller-skate. Now I want you to say it fifty times until you get it.

3 days later

Kate: The rine in spine sties minely in the pline..

Enrique slaps the palm of his hand to his forehead in frustration.

Enrique: No, no, no..the *rain* in *Spain*...

2 Weeks Later

Kate: The rine in..

Enrique (with exaggerated calm): Kate, you must work on this. A lady speaks properly. If you work hard you shall sleep in a proper bedroom, have lots to eat, and money to buy lots of chocolates. We shall take you to Buckingham Palace, beautifully dressed. If the Queen finds out you're not a lady, you will be taken to the Tower of London, where your head will be cut off as a warning to other wannabe royal girlfriends. But if you are not found out you shall have a golden page in the history books. Now let's try it again. 'The..

Kate: Rain in...

Enrique: By George I think she's got it! Where does it rain?

Kate (sings): On the plain..on the plain!

Enrique winces at her singing.

Enrique: And where is that plain?

Kate: (sings) In Spain, in Spain

Enrique: I think you've got it. But seriously, stop singing.

Can Enrique get Kate to stop singing? Will she learn how to speak better than she roller-skates? Tune in to the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2009