The recent Diana Memorial service was turned into a debacle when Camilla, The Duchess of Cornwall bowed to public opinion and withdrew from attending the service. A furious Camilla took off for the Mediterranean, to plot her revenge. Beautifully tanned, Camilla has returned and is ready to strike. This mission, if you choose to accept it is indefinite and has no expiry date. Hang on to the tape just in case.
Location: A palace somewhere in London
The Queen, Prince Philip, Prince Charles and Camilla, sit at the table and open their dossiers. They pull out 8 x 10 glossies of the various courtiers, the famous grey men.
Camilla: (seething)My popularity has been set back five years because of the whole Diana memorial. These men make mistakes and then I end up paying for them. Well I've had enough.
Charles: What are you going to do darling?
Camilla: You tell me dear, or are you all out of good ideas?
The Queen: Pa and I tried to intervene, but it was too late.
Philip: (to Camilla) Never listen to Charles, he takes his advice from plants.
Charles: (to both his parents) You just don't understand me, you never have. Scientists have actually backed me up...
The Queen: (over-dramatically) Oh no one understands me...I'm so put upon....
Camilla: (indignant) Can we get back to me? I have an idea. I propose to take my revenge when they least expect it. When I'm Queen...
Philip: And when do you suppose that will be?
Camilla: When Charles ascends the throne
The Queen: I'm still in the room you know!
Camilla: Sorry Mama
Philip: When Charles comes to the throne, do you really think you'll be Queen? That people will accept that?
Camilla:(livid) Hasn't this been sorted out?
Charles: No, we're still working on Operation Queen Camilla. We sent William and Harry to infiltrate the offices of Majesty magazine..
The Queen: Where are those boys? It's been months, shouldn't they have rewritten Ingrid Seward's editorial by now?
Philip: Darling, they must choose their words carefully...
Camilla: Excuses, excuses..I want heads to roll..and when I'm Queen they will!
Philip: I guess the grey men will be waiting a long time then. They probably won't even remember what they've done..
Camilla: (furious) I don't care, I want revenge..I can't wait any longer..
Camilla picks one of the 8 x 10's from the pile
Camilla: I'll start with this one
To be continued
© Marilyn Braun 2007
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