Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Spouse of the Year

Camilla has been granted a new title. No, it's not Princess of Wales, and the verdict is still out on the Queen Camilla thing. Noooo...this is special and one you would least expect. She's been named 'Spouse of the Year' at the Oldie of the Year awards. Considering what she's been called in the past, she would probably welcome this. But what would the award be for such an honor. Yes, it's great that she's been given this honor but shouldn't she have something to show for it? A conversation piece that people can admire? The Oscars have, well, a gold plated man, the Grammy's have a gramaphone, the Razzies, have raspberries, shouldn't Camilla have something to show for being elected the most famous hausfrau in the world? Here are some ideas I've come up with:

The bane of most spouses, cleaning supplies are a sure symbol of the sacrifice and hard work involved in being a spouse. She can choose between a lifetime supply or a vacuum

A Spa Day - Yes, truly appreciated but the facial scrub glow and french manicure only lasts for so long. Warning: Do not stare at the photo for too long, it might be disturbing.

Children - Cute huh? sure you can't gold plate them, but if they make you proud that could be a great, long lasting reward. Choose more than one and it could be an endless (really endless) conversation piece.

Station Wagon - She'll need something to haul the kids around in.
Who needs a mini-van when you can have this? Just don't let them ride in the back - there are laws about that now.

A set of ginsu knives - why settle for anything less. Multi-functional: cut tomatos, shoes and even trees! Choose this option and we'll throw in a free steak knife.

Appliances - Not just a default wedding gift. Functional, practical and unsentimental, modern appliances are a must have. They can't live on love alone, they've got to eat. She could be the envy of all her neighbors too.

Jewellery - Nothing says "I don't appreciate you enough, but here's something to make up for it" better than a ring or necklace. Besides she can't keep borrowing from her mother in law forever.

© Marilyn Braun 2006

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