Saturday, December 20, 2008

Prince William's Raging Beard

You've got to hand it to Prince William. He's brilliant (well, in this instance or maybe I'm just reading too much into it). Growing a beard to throw us off the scent of dead pheasants and his relationship with Kate Middleton. Who knew a scruffy beard could be so distracting?

While we're focused on the color of the beard. What the RAF will make of this facial hair? Who will finally hand William the shaver? Liveried servant? maybe Kate might do the job herself. Or will William, with a stubborn and defiant streak running in his Spencer genes, make his own will known? Who will dare cross he who must be eventually obeyed? Would one ask the Queen to change her own hairstyle? Or suggest that Princess Anne go shopping? Probably not. Even if someone should have done so long ago

The important question to ask is, why did he grow the beard? Did he forget his shaving kit? Is he experimenting with his rapidly dwindling looks? Is it a manly right-of-passage? Is he growing hair for a potential transplant? Or did he grow it to remind himself that he can? In the absence of any real news, we have a myriad of fascinating possibilities to ponder.

But not everyone was as easily distracted. No. PETA jumped on the bandwagon and chastised Kate for 'dabbling in blood-sports'. Kate's fur hat just added fuel to the fire. The Telegraph even went so far as to write an article asking whether the beard would affect William's suitability for the throne. A poll on the British Royal Wedding blog asked the question: To Beard or Not to Beard? With 316 in favor to 159 against. Either people really like the look or the Republican movement reads the Telegraph and is looking for any excuse.

William may be reluctant to shave the beard. Kate is said to be devastated at the idea. Does he choose between the woman he loves, the monarchy, or the vagrant look? Yet another epic constitutional crisis prediction. Maybe the soothsayers might be right this time.

Kate's recent "wardrobe malfunction" can't even compete with the facial hair. Now Kate must know what Charles felt like with Diana. Instead of engagement bets, people are taking wagers on when William will shave. If William shaves his head, we may never hear about Kate again.

Someone hand Prince William a straight razor post-haste!

© Marilyn Braun 2008

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