The Royal and The Clueless - Episode 11

On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless Marilyn, the writer of these episodes and The co-worker a few cubicles over who calls himself Enrique experienced some creative differences. The co-worker a few cubicles over who calls himself Enrique (Or TCWAFCOWCHE for short) mysteriously disappeared shortly afterwards. On this episode Kate, in the process of dropping TCWAFCOWCHE off at an undisclosed location, called to let Marilyn, as she writes this episode know, and was subsequently photographed with the phone in her hand. After reading about this in the newspaper at their local coffee shop, the police brought Kate in. Presently she sits in the interrogation room with the proverbial cliched hanging light, which has been strategically placed to enhance the glossiness of Kate's hair. Two investigators, Good Cop and Bad Cop, interrogate her.

Bad Cop: What on earth were you thinking? There are people out there who are just waiting for you to screw up. And boy did you ever screw up! Do you know you could face 20 to 30 years, plus community service for this?

Kate: (eyes nervously darting) For...using a phone?

Bad Cop: We know what you did. We have photographic proof.(He shakes his head for dramatic effect. Gets up and walks away. he leans against the wall and hits his fist against it in frustration.

Bad Cop: (Barks) Where were you on the night of January 7th 1982?

Kate: In utero?

Bad Cop: Don't you get smart with me!

(Bad Cop goes and checks Wikipedia)

Bad Cop: (looks at Kate suspiciously) You've won this round Miss Middleton.

(Bad Cop turns away and goes to checks his facts on Wikipedia to prevent further embarassment.)

Good Cop: (Sits on the table on front of Kate, gently patting her shoulder) Go easy on her Bad Cop. After all, it can't be easy with all of the paps chasing her. (To Kate) Would you like some tea? (Good cop goes out to put on the kettle)

Bad Cop: (Returning for round two. He slams his hand down on the table and stares down Kate) Why weren't you at work?

Kate: I...well..

Bad Cop: You don't have a job, do you??

Good Cop: (Returning with the tea, he places it in front of Kate) Easy Bad Cop, we've seen the strategically placed photograph on the Party Pieces website. You looked lovely by the way.

Bad Cop: Obviously you're scheming and cunning. People underestimate you Miss Middleton. Don't you have anything to say?

Kate: (Kate's bottom lip trembles in an effort to elicit some sympathy) I think I need to call my lawyers..

Whatever happened to TCWAFCOWCHE? Is Kate guilty...of using a phone? Will Kate ever learn how to act? Tune in to the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2008