If you haven’t already heard, King Charles III and Queen Camilla are dropping by Canada. For a quick pit stop, just long enough to remind the world we still have sovereignty. Because nothing screams “strong, independent nation” quite like having the King pop in for 48 hours to say, “Yep, we’re still here.”
His visit has been hyped as rich with symbolism. But let’s be honest: what Canadians will really be watching for is the raised elbows. Not the usual royal wave, all delicate wrist flicks and finger flutter, but the full elbows-up move: arms bent sharply, elbows thrust high and proud, forearms jutting out like tiny barricades.
Picture the scene: photojournalists scrambling, cameras firing away. T-shirts, souvenirs, commemorative magazines and coins in production. Breathless commentary as royal watchers obsess over every micro-movement. Historians analyzing what this means for Canada's future. Hockey analysts and body language experts called in to judge: Did Charles nail the elbows-up? Did Prime Minister Carney brief him properly? Should we have sent Mike Myers instead?
Because elbows up is more than just a physical stance. It’s a diplomatic dance move. A way of saying, “We appreciate the gesture, but hands off the maple syrup and the moose.” It’s the polite, Canadian version of a “Back off," delivered with just enough stiff upper lip to confuse the Americans.
The King and Queen will visit the Senate chamber to make a historic throne speech, plant a tree (because what else do you do when you want to say, “We’re here, but we’re leaving soon”), make polite small talk with select individuals and watch a street hockey game. Meanwhile, Canada will do its best to look excited without breaking into a full parade, after all, this is a 48-hour visit, not a hockey final.
Some might wonder why the monarchy still bothers. Isn’t this visit just a fancy postcard from the past? Maybe. But in a world where political chaos is the new normal, the sight of a man and a queen showing up just to say “we’re watching” has its own odd charm.
And when it comes down to it, if elbows up is the way we say “We’re still sovereign, thanks very much,” then Canada might just have found its next great national pastime.
So get ready, Canada. Keep your elbows sharp, your politeness sharper, and maybe practice your own elbows-up move for when the cameras come around. Because this royal visit? It’s less about allegiance to the crown and more about staging just enough pageantry to remind the world Canada is not for sale.
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