Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Here's what I did while Catherine Cambridge was away..

Huzzah, Catherine Cambridge has returned to royal duties! Well at least for today. This appearance was eagerly anticipated by royal correspondents, photographers, fashion bloggers and others concerned for the welfare of someone they will never meet.
Instead of fretting about her absence, I put this time to constructive use:
  • I lost 35.5 pounds
  • I circumnavigated the globe twice. 
  • I didn't read War and Peace.
  • I learnt how to play the didgeridoo (it was on my bucket list).
  • I crocheted blankets, infant hats and booties for all babies in third world countries.
  • I reviewed approximately ONE book (see valid excuses above).
  • I complained via Twitter about other royal books I have no intention of reading.
  • I googled hyperemesis gravidarum so I could cut and paste it into this article.
I regret this period of personal renewal coming to an end. From now until April my twitter feed will be filled with baby bumps, fashions, inappropriate pregnancy speculation, royal baby names, the biography of her gynecologist and therapists weighing in on the 'spare's' future psychological issues. People despairing at intrusive coverage then inadvertently contributing to it. In my case I will despair about this then (between didgeridoo performances and making nutritious lunches for my children), I will write scintillating commentary attempting to put it all into perspective.

Unfortunately there will be no escape form this coverage. Especially once April arrives and people attempt to beat the record for amount of times #royalbaby can be used on Twitter before it brings down the internet.

April can't come soon enough!
© Marilyn Braun 2014

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