>> Thursday, March 29, 2012
Location: Clarence House
Staff member #1: We must find something more to do with Her Royal Highness. She's getting bored of the dog.
Staff member #2: Right, we must utilize her. I hear there's a $1000 toast rack for sale. If Catherine is seen using it then it will fly off the shelves!
Staff member #1: Maybe she could wear the Harris Tweed and kill two birds with one stone!
Prince William: I think we should leave the hunting out of it. Too much multi-tasking.
Catherine: Maybe I could do more duties?
Prince William and the others seem to notice Catherine for the first time
Prince William: Oh darling, you're back from getting your hair done?
Catherine: I...I..I've been sitting here all along..
Prince William (to his staff): What is she wearing?
Staff member #1 (consults his notes): Marc Jacobs scoop-neck peach and lilac silk blend dress with woven poppy pattern and contrasting ecru side panels
Catherine: Why is that important? I'm more than just a fashion plate, you know. I did some research and found these causes..
Catherine holds up some papers. Staff member #2 gets up and gently takes them from her.
Prince William: Careful darling, we don't want you to get a paper cut
Catherine (angry): And what if I did? Would be far better than what I'm doing now!
Prince William (soothingly): Darling, I'm back now. We are so proud of your speech. You're taking to all of this so well. What was it Edward said? Like a 'duck to water.' But you must be exhausted so I have a surprise for you! We're going skiing!
Catherine: But, isn't there a memorial service coming up for the Queen Mother and Princess Margaret?
Prince William: We'll just tell people we have a 'prior committment'. Everyone will understand. Won't they?
The staff members nod in agreement.
Catherine: But what if they don't? Won't it look bad?
Staff member #2: Sir, maybe we could book an engagement upon your return?
Prince William: Yes something involving small children or maybe some baby animals. Catherine make sure you wear something brand new.
Catherine: I don't believe this!
Catherine sobs and runs out of the room.
Will Catherine get a paper-cut? Will she wear something new? Where is Enrique? Find out on the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.
© Marilyn Braun 2012
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